October 27, 2014
1:26 p.m.

There have been days of late when I wished I could travel back in time and make wiser choices. For example, on September 26, 2014, I would have elected to play a bowling game instead of dancing!

Those who follow my blog know that I chose dancing that day and injured myself. It's been a month now, and I am still using crutches to get around. I haven't improved much at using them, sad to say. My arthritic hands hate me, and I don't blame them. After all, I was the one who got us into this situation!

I finally had an MRI done on Friday and now I am waiting by the phone hoping the doctor will call and tell me that nothing is wrong, so suck it up and quit being a baby. Ha ha! Seriously, I am so tired of not being able to just get up and do whatever I want to do. It's frustrating.

Okay, enough about my foot, I'm tired of my foot. I'm tired of all medical stuff today. So is everyone else, I'm sure.
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Today I would like to address something that has been on my mind for awhile, and that is the lack of respect that people show each other. I know this has been going on for decades, but it seems to me that as time goes by it just gets worse and worse.

I'm not talking about strangers on the street or co-workers and classmates, who are bad enough in and of themselves. I'm talking about people who are supposedly friends. I'm talking about spouses, children and parents.

I see this all the time, even within my own circle, and it makes me so sad.

So look, people--here's what I know:

1. Children learn not by what they are told, but by what they are shown. Therefore--

    a.  If a husband treats his wife with disrespect in front of his children, he is teaching them that it is acceptable for them to disrespect their mother.

   b.  If a wife treats her husband with disrespect in front of her children, she is teaching them that it is acceptable for them to disrespect their father.

   c.  If grown children treat their parents with disrespect in front of their children, they are teaching their children that it will be acceptable for them to disrespect their parents (you) when they are grown.

2.  People fight. I know that people do not always agree with one another. (I'm not Pollyanna, no matter what they say.) People will argue, it's inevitable. But--

   a.  Arguments are not public domain. Respect each other enough to take it to another room, where your children will not have to bear witness to their parents' lapses in self control.

   b.  Your child's opinions do not matter. Don't ask them to take sides. Don't involve them in any way. It's not their disagreement, it's yours, so keep it to yourselves.  

   c.  Children deserve your respect, too. Subjecting them to displays of disrespect will breed disrespect in them.

3.  The Internet is no place to have an argument!

   a.  If you want to be a clown, join the circus. If you believe your personal matters should be someone else's entertainment, you probably should be painting your face.

   b.  There are hundreds of people out there in the cyber world who will rejoice in your pain, who will add their (useless) opinions, and who will do their best to instigate even more damage than you can do on your own. And once it's out there for all the world to see, you can never take it back. Delete it? Big deal. There will be more than plenty of people out there to remind you of it repeatedly.

4.  You reap what you sow. If you want to be respected, show respect to those around you. If you don't, the disrespect you'll be shown will be precisely what you deserve.

I'm not talking about going online and expressing an opinion--although God knows I've taken some shots for expressing mine, and I expect to take some shots for this post as well--I'm talking about posting things like "My wife is such a so-and-so", or "What's-his-name will be sorry for", etc. Comments like these just invite people to join in with the bashing. Some will agree with you, some won't, and the fight is on.

Don't we get enough of this crap on television? Shows like "Jerry Springer" and "Cheaters" exist because we all want to get in on the bashing, I guess. Personally, I'd rather take the "Ice Water Challenge" every day for a year than watch cow dung like this, and that's how I feel about bearing witness to others' disagreements in general. It makes me profoundly uncomfortable. It makes me unbearably sad. It also makes me want to turn someone over my knees and give them a good, sound spanking, because--GROW UP, PEOPLE!

Several weeks ago--when I could still walk on my own--we went to a buffet for dinner. There I was witness to quite the spectacle: a little boy, about nine years old, ordering his mother around. When she told him he needed to ask for things nicely, he told her to shut up and do as she was told. Meanwhile, his father was sitting next to his own mother, and loudly berating her for one thing and then another until she was nearly in tears. A few minutes later, the little boy went off on his mother again, telling her she was too stupid to load his plate right. The father jumped in and demanded to know how in hell he got the idea he could talk to his mother like that. The little boy lifted his chin and said, "Why not? You do!"

Case closed.

But-- do you think this father learned a lesson? Or did he employ the ever popular "Don't do as I do, do as I say" position? (Which certainly doesn't work, now does it?)

(You know, my father used to say that from time to time, but it was always in reference to his dislike of eating his vegetables. We'd try to use it as an excuse to skip our own, and that was his response.

The one time I really raised my voice to my mother, my father stepped in immediately, and when asked how in hell I got the idea I could talk to her like that, I could never have replied as that little boy did! I know now my parents didn't always agree, but they didn't fight in front of us.)

People need to wake up. The day will come when that little boy will be grown, and he'll treat his father the same way his father was treating grandma.

Children learn what they see.

Respect each other, folks!
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Okay, on a happier note, "Horns", starring Daniel Radcliffe, comes out on Halloween, and I would very much like to go see it. It's based on the story by Joe Hill, who is the son of Stephen King. Loved the story, looking forward to the movie.

Trick-or-treaters never come to my house anyway. Might as well see a spooky movie, right?

Seriously, I never get any kids knocking at my door on Halloween! I may have had a total of ten kids over the last ten years! It makes me sad! I love seeing the kids all dressed up, and I always get plenty of candy--which I just end up eating! Hahaha!
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Okay, I have to go do something, even if it's wrong! Have a great one, peeps!

October 14, 2014
6:17 p.m.

Well, well. It's insurance open enrollment time, and do I have any idea what I am doing? Sort of, but...

See, the last time I changed anything, I ended up with a big bill for my C-PAP supplies because my new carrier is not contracted with my supplier.

Ugh!

So here I am, trying to decided what's next, and of course, I have an injury that is being covered by my present carrier, and I have no idea if I will still be dealing with issues concerning this injury when any changes I might decide to make take effect in January.

Am I alone in wishing that all this could be simpler?

Honestly, I want to change back to the coverage I had prior to this one, but if future treatment of issues regarding this injury won't be covered because they'll be considered "pre-existing", then I'm going to have to stick with this and find a C-PAP supplies supplier that is contracted with my present insurer.

I have a headache.

It is clear to me that I will be on the phone a lot tomorrow.

Boo! Hiss!
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I've been given the go-ahead to return to physical therapy. Whee!

Seriously, I hope they can help me regain some more mobility. As I've stated previously, I am a terrible crutcher. The arthritis in my hands makes it pretty challenging. I've been out exactly once since September 26th, and that was to go to the doctor and go to a medical supply company to be fitted for a more appropriate boot (which I still don't have).

Now that I have finally gotten insurance approval, I will be scheduling an MRI to find out if this really is a tear of the Achilles tendon, or just a sprain. I say "just a sprain", but according to my doctor, a sprain can actually take much longer to heal than a tear. Yippee.

What I do know is that I still can't walk on it, that it feels better out of the boot than in, and that I can't get the hang of these bleepity bleep bleeping crutches.

Ah, ya gotta laugh.
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 I have to send out some kudos and thanks to my son & daughter-in-law, and my daughter and son-in-law, who have been a great help to me of late. I appreciate the help with the electricity, the laundry, and the general waiting on me hand and foot. I know I'm a drag, guys, but I really appreciate you and all your help! Love you all!

Everyone have a good night!

October 1, 2014
11:59 p.m.

Oh my Gosh, it's October! What happened?

I'm laying in my bed listening to the rain and trying to read on this little screen. Ah, ctrl + +sign, you are my hero!

So today I took a bit of a public berating for basically pre-judging a couple being held on a One million dollar bond for the death of their 4-month old daughter. In my defense, I have to say I was really judging any anonymous parents who would do harm to their children and bemoaning the fact that this type of person seems to procreate as easily as a rabbit while people who would make wonderful, loving, safe parents can't conceive.

It shakes my faith in a just God, sometimes.

Oh, I can feel the hate directed at me for that one already.

Well, tough titty, said the kitty. My faith gets shaken all the time. If you have faith, and you're honest about it, I'll bet yours gets shaken, too.

I still have faith. But I am just a human being, and I fall down every now and then.

(For those who read my blog, I am not referring to recent injuries. I didn't fall. First I put leftovers away. Then I danced. Now I'm on crutches. What can I say?)

Anyway, I have few details about this abuse case, but what I have learned just brings up so many questions.

When my oldest grandchild was  born, she was a month premature. She spent a long time in hospital, and when she came home, a home health nurse checked up on her and my daughter every week. She came right to the house and weighed the baby, measured her, and answered questions and concerns that my daughter had. My daughter breast-fed, but there is always a concern about weight-gain in premies, and the hospital was very diligent in making sure that the baby was growing steadily.

Has that type of service changed in the last 15 years? I would think they'd have improved, if anything.

A wonderful young friend of mine had premature twins earlier this year, and her health care providers have been just as diligent in educating the family about proper nutrition, special formula and feeding methods.

Of course, my granddaughter was cared for in Wyoming, and my precious twin loves are here in Colorado, but I have a hard time believing that this family did not have access to the same level of care as my granddaughter got 15 years ago.

So what happened? Clearly a ball was dropped, but who dropped it first, and why didn't someone pick it up? Premies are closely followed by their doctors, so why weren't these children being attended to?

Oh, so many questions.

So, do I think these parents deliberately set out to kill their child? Do I think the healthcare system was negligent? Do I think anything? 

I don't know what to think, but I do know some of the questions I'd be asking everyone concerned if I were involved.

All I can say is it's very sad. I feel sorry for all concerned, but mostly, I care about the children. They get no choice in the manner in which they are raised.

So I was dissed a bit today, but all I care about is the kids.

I can take it.

They can't.
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Update on me: still not weight bearing. getting slightly better with the crutches. Maybe I will try going outside tomorrow. Maybe I can make it to the mailbox!

On top of it all, I have caught a cold. Doggone it!

Can't get in to see my doctor til next week. I am a rather unhappy camper.

So now, I am going to try to read myself to sleep. It's a win-win situation: If I sleep, cool. If I don't, it's a great book!

Good night!

September 29, 2014
1:30 p.m.

I must consider remodeling--or at least refurnishing--my room. It is very boring back there!

I haven't posted since the wee hours of Saturday morning, because really, all I could do was gripe. I've had a little practice on my crutches since then, and all I can say is: I suck at using crutches!

I also suck at being unable to do things for myself. I feel like a real ass every time I ask for a glass of water. I suppose I could crutch to the sink and drink a whole glass standing there, but I like having a glass handy. I need a water bottle in the perfect size to stick into my cleavage!

Cleavage is very handy, you know. I managed yesterday to stuff all my pill bottles into my bra and cleavage to carry out to my desk and refill my weekly pill box. You should have heard me rattle! Ha ha!

Of course, my first attempt was a failure, and picking them up off the floor was no fun, but I did it!

Anyway, I'm supposed to spend most of my time with my foot elevated, which means staying in my room on the bed, which is just...tedious. I need a chair with a footrest.

Yeah, like I have room in there for that.

I'm just not a stay in bed type. Unless I am so sick I actually sleep, I want to be up and out of my room. I'm not sick unto sleepiness, I'm just a little battered. Lemme out! So I'm up and at my desk, but I will be a good girl and go back to my room to elevate my foot soon. I promise.

Or I may get into the massage chair and read for awhile! Yeah! That will elevate my foot, and I can read! I am almost finished with book five of Game of Thrones.  It is so good, I have kept trying to read the series slowly so I can savor it. Of course, now I want to re-watch the series, as well!
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2:52 p.m.

Wow, we just got a wild hail storm! It lasted a few minutes and now it;s just raining lightly. I couldn't see a thing out the window while it was happening. Glad I was still up! I'm headed for the chair.

Later!

September 27, 2014
12:19 a.m.

I have just popped two Aleve, and when they kick in I'm going to bed to try to sleep away this awful day. (I hope I can sleep!!)

Well, not the 27th. The 26th.

First of all, September 26th is a pretty good day. It's my oldest daughter's birthday. So that's a good thing.

The bad thing is I spent over half the day in terrific pain, and several hours in the Emergency Room.

It all started out as such a promising day! But I made a big mistake. I decided to skip my shower until after I had some breakfast. Then I decided to further skip it until after exercise.

So dumb.

My son and I decided to dance for exercise, so he set up the Wii and I did some stretches to warm up.

Then we started dancing, and the first time I came down hard on my right foot, I tore my Achilles tendon.

Dang, that hurt.

Now, since I did this on my left foot in 2009, I know exactly what I'd done. Only, the last time I did it, it wasn't this painful. I could still walk on it.

Not this time. I had to use a chair like a walker to get around until a friend took me to the emergency room a few hours later. I had iced it all afternoon hoping that it would improve, but...nope.

So I spent over three hours there--they were so busy--and had some ex-rays. Finally saw a doctor long enough for him to assure me that I hadn't broken my foot. I told him I already knew that, and that I suspected a torn Achilles tendon. He agreed with me that it's probably a partial tear. So lucky, because if it had torn completely, I'd be in surgery right now.

I got myself a new boot, but I was unable to bear weight on it even once I was booted up. Now I know for sure it's worse than when I tore the left one. The boot was like a miracle worker that time. Not this time.

So I got some crutches. The tech insisted that she needed to lengthen them so I would't lean. She said that would be better for my shoulders. Well, I have arthritis in my hands and shoulders, and when I tried them I nearly fell and stepped backward--hard--at least two times on this foot. Up to that point I had handled the pain pretty well, but that brought some tears to my eyes!

So she shortened the crutches and had me try using them. I went a little way, and my hands were a screaming pair of useless lumps.

She went and got a wheelchair to take me to the car. And I thanked her very much!

When we got home I crawled up the porch steps. Easier.

In my own house, the crutches are a bit easier. It'll take some practice. Hopefully I will be able to bear weight tomorrow.

For tonight, I'm done.

Wish me luck on sleeping! Good night!

September 23, 2014
8:55 p.m.

I wonder how many other people out there get cramps in their feet or toes while doing stair-stepper exercises. I mean, before I can go on to the next exercise, I have to walk off foot cramps! Zowds!

Physical therapy is a joy.

Okay, I'm overweight and out of shape. Yet I have so far not had trouble doing any of the things my therapist has me doing. It's just as I finish something that my body says, "Oh! Oh, we're exercising? I should probably make a fuss about this. Here ya go! Have a foot cramp!"

Um, I lied. One exercise really hurt: walking sideways. My hips do okay forward and back, but side motion--OW! And I expected pain going left, but going right was just as bad.

I have a feeling this is just a warm up. But if it helps in the long run, I'm in. (I just have to figure out how I'm going to afford this.)

I have to say, though, I really like my therapist. She's very nice.
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So today's big fuss is over whether or not Facebook is really going to charge us for using it. All I know is, I am NOT paying.

It's not true, anyway. Chill out, people.
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Ouch, I'm sore! Calling it a day soon. Night, all!

September 22, 2014
2:26 p.m.

Telemarketers are like date-rapists. You tell them no, repeatedly, and they just keep coming at you!
What part of "no" don't they understand?!

"But--"

"No, I'm not interested. Thank you."

"But if you will just--"

"I'm not interested. Thanks for calling."

"But if I could--"

"Not interested. Thank you."

"But I--"

"I said no! Thank you!" Click.

Okay, I know it's my fault. All those "thank yous". What am I thinking?

It's just that I was raised to be polite. I hate it when people are rude to me, so I don't want to be rude to anyone else.

I think I may take it too far sometimes, though.

For example, I always apologize to beggars for not having any change for them. I don't carry cash for a reason--I'm a sucker and I would be broke before I got my errands done. But I have been known to hand out the candy bar I was saving for later--or my lunch!

Come on, you know they ask for money to eat, but they're going to use it to buy booze or drugs. I did them a favor by giving my lunch!

Anyway, I was griping about telemarketers, who are really just paid beggars, right? Only they have your phone number and will accost you at dinnertime. And they don't want your lunch, they want your grocery money for the year.

I don't know why I bother to answer the phone, really. I tell myself it's because I don't want to have to clear off all the messages later.

Maybe I just need to learn how to be rude sometimes.

Probably not.

I guess I will just gripe about them here.
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I have gotten a bit more information about Lupus. Kristin Johnston (of "The Exes"!!--doing silly geek-out dance and squealing "Eeek!") tweeted me with a web site that was very informative. What a courageous and gracious woman. I love her even more now for taking the time to communicate with me.

The website is www.lupusla.org. I found a lot of interesting information and other links here. Very helpful.

I still don't know if this is what is ailing me. A definitive diagnosis is difficult. Even if it's not, the information is good to know. After all, I am a medical coder! Knowledge is power.

I have physical therapy tomorrow and another doctor appointment next week. The journey continues.
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