September 17, 2016
4:41 p.m.

I am one of those people--call me terrible, call me uninformed, call me whatever you like--who hates to watch the news.

I am not talking about dislike; I'm talking HATE. I hate it. I tune in, and within minutes, I am a writhing ball of revulsion. Politics, massacres, humanity acting inhumanely. Ugh! Double ugh!

I want to skip it; most of the time I do skip it.

But even I, the news-o-phobe, am aware that it is an election year. It's a horrible JOKE of an election year, granted, but I still need to know--somehow--what's going on.

I kind of want to leave planet Earth. Too bad there's nowhere for me to go,

I have Facebook, and cannot avoid the many, many posts by Trump supporters and Clinton supporters, basically just trashing each other.

I have a television, so I am exposed to all the darned commercial messages. "I'm Hillary Clinton, and I approved this message," she says, and then all you hear is Trump saying stupid stuff. Same goes for the Trump approved commercials; smash and bash, trash and thrash.

I can't be the only one who's noticed that neither of them are putting out ads that give anyone a good reason to choose one over the other. No one is saying a single positive thing!

Okay, it's true--I'm not going out of my way much to seek out the positives, mostly because I find them both reprehensible and I don't wish to spend an extra second of my time seeking them out, researching their policy propsals.

I'm lying. I have actually looked things up in the news outlets, on the government websites. I have even watched speeches.

Did I say "UGH!" yet? Oh yeah, I did.

I understand there are third party candidates. But is that a viable option, or will voting for them push the odds in favor of the least worthy candidate? I fear that may be the case.

Going to the polls this year seems like an exercise in futility. There may be a winner in this election, but no matter who wins, the PEOPLE are going to lose.

We're doomed.

I'm pretty sure I've said this before, too. Maybe not today...

You know, my favorite shock-rock guy, Alice Cooper, is running a joke campaign right now. Wouldn't it be great if everyone just wrote him in?

He wouldn't think so--the last thing he wants it to be President!

I don't care; I think it would be hilarious. Let him win by a landslide!

Alice Cooper for President

We could do it, you know. I'm sure Alice wouldn't thank us for it, but I'd kind of love to see Americans treat this election like the joke it is and just write Alice in. Yeah, we'd have to go through the whole dang mess again, but it would be worth it!

What do you say, America? Are you with me? Alice Cooper for President!!

Come on! It'll be fun!

America?

September 15, 2016
5:36 p.m.

It's amazing to me that everytime one of my children has a birthday these days, their ages number in the 30's. How did that happen? I now have no children under 30!!

Fine way to start a post, but my middle daughter is turning 34 tomorrow, and I'm feeling a bit shell-shocked. I imagine she is, too!

Tell the truth--CUTE!! She was 2. It was about a week ago, I swear. 

Taking those first steps at ten months of age--she was so proud of herself! 

Time sure does fly. Soon her own little one will be taking those first steps, and she will be overwhelmed with pride. I hope she remembers how quickly time goes by and cherishes every single second. 

I wish I'd known. I was told; I was warned, truthfully, but as things happen, those little day to day things that we get so bogged down and busy with, I just didn't believe it. When you're young, you believe you have time for everything. 

So whatever it is, you're go-to phrase is "I'll do it later." 

Later was yesterday, man.  Later passed you by while you were busy doing the dishes and folding the laundry, but somehow never getting it put away. Later happened while you scrubbed the toilet or went to work, or chatted on the phone. 

Later is a myth. You don't get a later. 

Do it now. 

Take the kids to the park. Read to them. When they say, "Mom, watch this!", watch that. When they need to talk, listen. The dishes and the laundry will wait; they won't. They can't. It's not possible for them to hit a pause button and not grow up until your "later" arrives. 

I know it's practically impossible to have a family and not have a job. I know you have so many things that have to be done. But sometimes it's okay not to strive for perfection and settle for good enough in order to have that extra few minutes to watch the little one bounce a ball for the first time, or listen to the older one read her first short story, or run lines with the middle child who is doing his first school play. 

Do it now, because, the next time you look at this: 

She'll look like this:

And it will happen in the blink of an eye. 

Happy Birthday, baby girl. Slow down and enjoy! I love you! 

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7:21 p.m.

History is a confusing thing; everyone is dead, and you can't verify anything! Whose child really died at sea? Whose daughters were abducted by the Apache tribe and later returned? Who was really responsible for the train accident? Is there a ghost in Santa Fe? 

Oddly enough, even though these are mysteries that can probably never be solved, I'm sure having fun researching them. 

Am I weird?

If I am, I guess so are the many, many other people out there doing genealogy research; there are a lot of us. 

I am pretty much a complete novice. I find myself frustrated at the many, many inconsistencies. 

That said, I have to give SO much credit to the Latter Day Saints and their years of documentation. Generations of ancestors have been found and cataloged by the church, and it is AMAZING. I am dying to go to Salt Lake City and visit the archives. I'll just have to go during good weather. Salt Lake's inversion, which results in high pollution retention, seriously messes me up. Last time I was there I had to wear a mask at all times, and still I thought I was doomed. 

When is a good time to visit Salt Lake?

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7:35 p.m.

I applied for a job yesterday. I'm trying to get back to having a job, a regular income, etc. I've been pretty sick the past year, but I've been...er...okay,,,the past couple of months. My ideal would be to work remotely, so I can work in Wyoming if I decide to go. That's what I've applied for. Please wish me luck!

I'm out of things to talk nicely about now. It's an election year, remember, and so there's quite a lot to go on about. 

Not to mention all the kooks. 

But today I am nice. So, it's time to say Goodnight.

Goodnight! 

August 31, 2016
7:05 p.m.

There's nothing I hate worse than taking a child to the doctor, and that includes the four legged kids. I don't want them to ever be sick or hurt in any way.

That said, my grandpuppy Rex had to go to the vet today. He's been limping about for a couple of days and I was pretty sure he had something in his foot, but he would NOT let me check it out. Stubborn little wiggle-worm. Twelve pounds shouldn't be that strong!!

So off we went today, and I was right: grazon weed sticker in his paw. Poor baby!

Isn't that the ugliest thing ever? And it digs its way in. Ugh! 

Poor little dude had to be sedated, so he's a groggy pup tonight, just laying around sleeping. He looks all sad and punished wearing his lovely collar, but it has to be done so he won't lick the wound. It makes me feel so sorry for him!

He really has no idea how spoiled he is; I do not share my blanket with just anyone. 

He may be a little mad at me; I left him with strangers who gave him a shot, made an incision in his paw and left him feeling spaced out and sore. I don't blame him. But since that thing could have become very infected and made him sick enough to lose his foot or even die--he can be mad at me for a minute or so. We'll both get over it.

Get well soon, my little buddy, Rex!

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7:41 p.m.

I feel like I'm making good progress on my new book, which is partly based on my ancestors, but still fiction. I have learned so much about where I came from and so much about history in this part of the country while researching this book. 

I know it's a work of fiction, but I want to be historically correct wherever possible. I wish I could afford to visit a couple of places in person and really get a feel for them, but that's probably not going to happen, so research will have to do for now. Maybe by the time I'm ready to edit...

In the meantime, my novella is still available at Amazon. Here's the link: 

https://www.amazon.com/S23HF50-Subject-Human-Female-Age/dp/1534864067?ie=UTF8&qid=1467575814&ref_=la_B01H2HJBHQ_1_1_twi_pap_2&s=books&sr=1-1 

I hope you'll give it a try!

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9:45 p.m.

I'm a little worried that this little guy hasn't peed yet since being sedated. But he did have a small snack of tuna fish to take his pills. Now to keep him from licking his wound. He looks so sad in his cone of shame. 

I'm going to take my little buddy out and hopefully put hime to bed for the night.

Good-night!

August 13, 2016
7:34 p.m.

Oh man, there are days when all you want to do is go on a giant bitch-fest, and today is one of those days.

I can handle a lot, personally. I still haven't any idea what my medical problem is, just that I have one. I have too much month at the end of my money. I still need to level my house and get my roof fixed. But it's cool. None of those things make me want to kick my feet and scream or anything.

What does make me want to kick and scream is when bad things happen to my kids. I don't want bad things to happen to my kids. I want them to be happy and healthy and in a good place. Always. Forever. Amen.

I am pretty sure that I'm no different than any other mom. We would all rather suffer ourselves than see our children in any distress.

I feel so helpless right now. These are the times when I wish with all my heart that I had a car and money and POWER.

Kid number two is stranded in Kansas with a broken down car and three kids. Kid has had a horrible year--broken down cars, lost jobs, lost home. Now they're just trying to get here and start over. and BLAM! What the heck?!

And me? I can buy the occasional bag of diapers and send a buck or two, but basically--I am useless. It makes me so frustrated!

I want to be SuperMom and fix everything! Why can't I do that?

Honestly, it tests my faith.

I hate feeling this way, but sometimes I really wonder--why the tests? Why the trials? Especially since they seem to befall the people who are basically good and doing their best, while the evil just go on and on with their money and their power and nothing ever happens to them.

Okay, that's not a very nice thought, is it? I'm probably just asking for more trouble.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Tonight seems like a good night to NOT think.

So I'll stop for now. I'll read a book, and pray for my kids. And pray some more. Etc.

Maybe you could help me out with that.

Thank you.

Good night.

August 6, 2016
11:46 a.m.


I was washing my hair, and while rinsing soap out of my face I opened my eyes and saw a gigantic spider.

How do I know it was gigantic? Because I could see it. I can't see worth a hill of beans without my glasses, and I don't shower with glasses on. But I clearly saw that spider.

I am not a screamer. Honestly. I am a gasper in most cases, and my "screams" are generally a loudly exhaled "OH!"

I screamed. My son and the doggies came running. They found me grasping a towel and dripping in the middle of the bathroom. I had jumped out, yanked the shower curtain closed and grabbed a towel in a matter of seconds.

"Jesus Christ, Mom!" my son yelled. "You scared the crap out of me! What happened?"

"Sp--sp--spider," I gasped, pointing at the shower. "BIG spider."

"It was probably just hair," he groaned.

"It was a spider. HUGE spider. I saw it!"

"How? You can't even see me right now." He handed me my glasses and I put them on. "How could you tell it was a spider?"

I wrapped the towel more firmly around me. "It was a spider," I insisted.

"Guess I'll kill it, then," he said, and reached for the shower curtain. He pulled it open, and...

and...

And who the heck knows?

I woke up.

I hate nightmares.

So...do I hope that he pulled the curtain open and found a humongous spider that totally justified my scream reaction?

Or do I hope he was right and it was just a clump of hair--or my own overactive imagination? (Nah, I'd never hear the end of it!)

I don't know. All I know is that while in the shower this morning I experienced a nightmare flashback and had an asthma attack that got my son on his feet and running to the bathroom to check on me.

Good grief!

I'm fine, by the way.

In the aftermath, it occurs to me that this is the first time I remember having a dream in which I could not see without my glasses. What's up with that?

I dream a lot. I can always see perfectly fine in my dreams. Does that mean I'm wearing my glasses in my dreams?

That can't be right. I mean, I sometimes dream that I wake up in the middle of the night needing to pee, and I get up and go to the bathroom. I don't put on glasses, and I can see just fine. Around the time buttocks meet porcelain, I really wake up and rush to the bathroom--but I grab my glasses first. You know, so I can see in the dark!

Does anyone else ever have this stupid dream, or is it just me?

Does anyone else put on their glasses, even though they're not going to turn on the lights?

It might be time for me to go do something else for awhile.

Guess I'll walk the dogs. Ta ta!

August 3, 2016
6:45 p.m.

I'm so bad. It's been half a month since my last post, and that was a sad post. I need to up my game, or something.

I barey recognize myself lately. Suddenly I am following politics and researching candidates. Suddenly I am investigating the sources of many political posts on Facebook instead of just scrolling past them as fast as I can. Suddenly I am very interested in the history of this country.

For example, I keep seeing posts claiming that this country was founded on Christianity. But it's not the whole truth.

This country was based on a Secular foundation that supports Freedom of Religious expression.

The Pilgrims came to the New World where they would be free to practise their religion. Those Puritans originally wrote colonial constitutions regarding a religious government, which would establish one true church as the country's religion.

The Founding Fathers changed all that when they penned the Federal Constitution, forever separating Church and State. They specified that the US government would not interfere with the People's right to practise--or not--their preferred religions.

Other Pilgrims arrived, after being persecuted. The Latter Day Saints emigrated due to the promise that they would be free to worship as they saw fit. So did the many Jewish people who fled persecution. People have come from all over the world to experience the freedom we have to worship as we please, or to worship not at all. To this day, there are colonies of Amish and Mennonite who are free to live among the other people of the US without fear that those others will force their beliefs upon them. So far, no government agency has forced them to buy cars and install electric lights. Conversely, no member of these societies has tried to force their neighbors to live as they do.

The United States is not a Christian Nation, it is a secular Nation that does not interfere with its citizens' religions.

I guess I'm just ranting about this because I'm tired of all the posts I see that have clearly been passed on by people who didn't bother to question whether it was the truth or not.

It reminds me of all the times the death of Jackie Chan has been reported, while he is alive and well.
At some point in the future--hopefully very far in the future--when he really passes on, I won't believe it.

Anyway, if you're still under the impression that this country was founded on Christianity, I suggest you read the Constitution. It was written the way it was for the express purpose of not establishing a single religion as THE religion, because of the past examples of religious politics in the old country.

Ugh, what has happened to me? I'm supposed to be happy and carefree and not care about this stuff.

I think tomorrow I will think about something else. For now, I'm going to take the dogs out and call it a day.

Cheers!

July 15, 2016
12:29 p.m.


This morning I learned of the sudden death of a very dear friend of mine. I worked with this woman for several years, and she was an example to live up to when it came to work ethics. She was a professional in all aspects, and more than willing to pass on her knowledge and skills to those who really wanted to learn.

She was also a fiercely devoted mother who raised her children to be strong, independent and unique. I know she was very, very proud of them.

I visited with her last month while I was in Wyoming, and I'm so very glad that I went. It would be terrible, in retrospect, to have been that close and not have seen her.

I'm stunned. I can't believe it. She wasn't old; she took care of herself. She took care of everyone, honestly. She worked too hard, certainly. But...I still just can't believe it.

Annette Haney, you were a great friend, a great parent, a great person. You will be so missed. Fly high, my friend.

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2:00 p.m.

So, I'm sad. I guess it's as good a time as any to remind everyone that everytime you see someone you love, remember to say "I love you," when you part, because you might not get another chance. We are not promised tomorrow, so make the best of each day you're given. Make your plans, certainly. Save your money, map out your future, BUT--don't forget to make the best of today. JUST IN CASE. Let those you leave behind say you had a great time the day before you left them.

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I think I've gone as far as I'm going to go for now. I just want to sit here for awhile and remember my friend.

Make it a great day! And just so you know, I love you.