Rusty Flies Home

April 30, 2016

5:30 p.m.

Some days it just doesn't pay to answer the phone.

Not that I would ever, ever ignore a call from my mother. Never. Her phone number pops up, that phone gets answered.

But today's call brought bad news.

The news was not unexpected. I knew this day would come. But knowing and expecting are not the same as accepting, and I always pray for miracles.

The miracle happened in its own way: My cousin Rusty has been called home.

I know that for him it means an all-expenses-paid flight into the arms of a loving Father. I know it means an end to pain and suffering.

Knowing this to be true, I still want to rant and rave, because--damn it!--cancer sucks!! It's a cruel and impartial thief of lives. I hate it and wish it to be eradicated from this world.

My heart goes out to the family and friends who have supported and loved this young man through all his trials, and who now have to go on without his lovely smile. It's been a difficult road, and the road ahead will hold many twists and turns--and no doubt a few potholes--to be navigated as you mourn his passing. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I hold you all in my heart, now, during this difficult time, and always.

Rest in Peace, Rusty. You are loved.

April 28, 2016
2:41 p.m.

Waiting for more snow--doesn't that sound just lovely?

It's not.

My roof is at its wits end; therefore, so am I! I really think this is going to have to be my last summer in this house. It's falling apart, and I don't think it's healthy for us to go in living here.

That said, I can't afford to move.

Ah, stuck between a rock and a hard place. The story of my life.

In the meantime, it's the 28th of April and I'm waiting for more snow. Blah!

I spent about an hour the other day trying to make repairs to my rosebush. I hope the snow doesn't undo all my work! We have lost several tree branches and I have had to cut off several branches from my bushes. The big tree is now full of leaves, so the last snows haven't killed it yet--hopefully it won't get too cold with this storm.

The grass is really, really green, though. Can't complain about the extra water, can I? God knows we need it. (Except on my roof!)
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Next week I get to go spend two and a half hours drinking contrast and having a CT scan. Sounds like a ton of fun. To treat myself for the torturous morning, I plan to spend the afternoon in a book store. I don't know about you, but for me, spending time in a book store can make up for a lot! In self defense, I plan to have all my monthly bills paid before I go, though. Just in case.
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Back in the day, when I was working two jobs and going to school, I never watched t.v. Right now I'm retired on disability--but not forever, I swear!!--and I watch too much. But I can't seem to help myself where it comes it streaming old shows I never watched when they were actually on. Netflix is the bomb.

What I'm actually trying to say is--I have now seen all of "The X-Files"! Yay, me! Now I just have to watch the movies, and maybe a few things in the revival series that went over my head will make sense. I know, I know, I should have watched everything before watching the revival series, but I like confusing myself.

Now "The Gilmore Girls" is doing a revival, and I am actually watching the series now, instead of trying to make sense of things later.

I'll tell you why: unlike "The X-Files", which I had seen some episodes and one movie of before the new series, I had seen absolutely nothing of "Gilmore Girls". Confusion I can take. Complete oblivion I can't.

Anyway, it's a cute series. I don't have to think too hard or pay too much attention to be mildly amused.

If that sounds harsh or condescending, you should know that I'm hard to amuse. Ask my kids. If you can make me laugh, you've accomplished a HUGE feat. I'm a tough crowd. Comedians would hate me. I don't heckle--usually--but I don't laugh, either. Sometimes I crack a smile.

I smiled a lot at Robin Williams and George Carlin. I actually laughed out loud a few times at them. Very, very few of the comedians still living have been able to do that to me.

Real life makes me laugh. Babies and small children in their various activities can be very amusing. Animals are great. People doing spontaneous rather than scripted amusing things make me laugh. But an actual rehearsed "funny" thing? Best of luck.

That said, I have smiled at "The Gilmore Girls", and I'm planning to watch the revival if I make it through the whole series and continue to smile.
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4:32 p.m.

Brr! It's April 28th and my heater is running. It's making me sad.
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If I say I hate politics and I hate election years, does that make me a bad American?

Um...oh, well.

I hate politics!

I hate election years!

I REALLY hate this election year. We are DOOMED!!

I know I'm not super well-informed and I'm really, really not political, but these...er...candidates?...have me very uncomfortable about the future of this country. I fear for the futures of my grandchildren. I want to take my family and run away into the wilderness and live off the land, but...

Okay, I admit it: I'm addicted to the comforts of cities and technology. I don't want to hunt my food! I'm too lazy to farm!

Like I said, we're doomed...

Oh! This might be part of the problem. Epiphany! (Laziness...)

Well, it's the American way....
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5:48 p.m.

I'm now trying to get excited about dinner. Cream of Wheat and applesauce. Yum!

At least I have an episode of "Supernatural" to watch.
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I'm calling it a night. Peace!

April 22, 2016

The first quarter of the year is gone; I haven't blogged since New Year's Day. I suck.

I guess I could make a ton of excuses, but it boils down to just two. 1. I have been busy completing a series of coding exercises to advance my certification and 2. I have been sick.

Addressing number 1, I completed the coding exercises, and now I have had my apprenticeship status removed from my certification. I am now a full fledged Certified Professional Coder (CPC) and not just an apprectice, which means I have experience in my field! That makes me happy and proud. I complete over a thousand cases, so I have learned a lot. I also passed my ICD-10 proficiency exam in December. Between those two things, I should be more employable now.

Addressing number 2, --It's complicated.

In early February I had an esophagogastroduodonoscopy (EDG) exam, which is done by running a tube with a tiny camera down my throat to look at my esophagus, stomach and upper small intestine. I had to fast for eight hours prior to the test so my stomach would be empty.

It wasn't empty. It was full. And it had been over twelve hours. So the test could not be conducted and I had to reschedule. Paula's out $345.00 and now has to pay that again.

I rescheduled for March and promptly got in trouble with my kids for not scheduling sooner. Like I could have! Money, people?

Well, according to them, the money was mine for the asking. But I'm not good at that--I hate borrowing anything from anyone for anything. (And pride goeth before the fall--I know, I know.)
But also, my daughter was going to give birth around the same time I could have scheduled, and I had no intention of missing that.

And right on schedule, my beautiful granddaughter was born in the wee hours of the morning after the original date I passed on. See? I was right!

I would not have missed this for the world! Grandbaby number nine. I am so blessed.

So for my next EGD, I got to do clear liquids only for three days prior to the test. It was not as hard as I expected it to be. I'm not doing too well with food these days.

The test went fine, but we still don't know for sure what's going on.

I got sent for blood tests, and at this point we have ruled out stomach, liver and pancreatic cancers, heart issues, lung issues and ulcers.

I'm now in the process of scheduling CT scans, and then possibly one more diagnostic test. Right now the doctor is thinking I may have a condition called Gastroparesis. It won't kill me, but it's not comfortable or convenient, and it makes it pretty difficult to enjoy a regular meal. Soft and bland. Cream of Wheat is my friend. Steak is not. Boo. Popsicles and jello, good. Spaghetti, not good. Ugh.

We shall see.

On the plus side, I have lost twenty pounds and a pant size. Or possibly two. Who knows? Sizes are weird.

Anyway, 2016 hasn't been great so far.

For one thing, we have lost so many wonderful people this year. Yesterday it was Prince. It started in January with David Bowie. DAVID BOWIE!! *SOB* Then Alan Rickman less than a week later--goodbye, Snape!  *SOB* Then, boom, boom, boom, every week this year it seems! Glenn Frey, Merle Haggard, Patty Duke, Doris Roberts, James Best. Wow. Over thirty people. I guess I could make a list, but I just can't do it right now. Sad. Musicians, actors, writers.

Stop it, 2016!!

Anyway, it's time for me to get off my behind and start writing again. I know I'll feel better with something to do besides worry about what is or isn't wrong with me and cataloging my daily food intake (and may I add that my diet is BORING?)

I'm excited to be job hunting, and excited that sometime in the future I will go visit my parents, and excited to see my grandchildren--three of the nine, anyway--this weekend. There are good things going on in this, the year of our Lord, 2016.

I just need to remind myself of that from time to time, I guess!

Anyway, it's 4:00 a.m. Guess it's bedtime.

Good ni--er...good morning!