August 31, 2016
7:05 p.m.

There's nothing I hate worse than taking a child to the doctor, and that includes the four legged kids. I don't want them to ever be sick or hurt in any way.

That said, my grandpuppy Rex had to go to the vet today. He's been limping about for a couple of days and I was pretty sure he had something in his foot, but he would NOT let me check it out. Stubborn little wiggle-worm. Twelve pounds shouldn't be that strong!!

So off we went today, and I was right: grazon weed sticker in his paw. Poor baby!

Isn't that the ugliest thing ever? And it digs its way in. Ugh! 

Poor little dude had to be sedated, so he's a groggy pup tonight, just laying around sleeping. He looks all sad and punished wearing his lovely collar, but it has to be done so he won't lick the wound. It makes me feel so sorry for him!

He really has no idea how spoiled he is; I do not share my blanket with just anyone. 

He may be a little mad at me; I left him with strangers who gave him a shot, made an incision in his paw and left him feeling spaced out and sore. I don't blame him. But since that thing could have become very infected and made him sick enough to lose his foot or even die--he can be mad at me for a minute or so. We'll both get over it.

Get well soon, my little buddy, Rex!

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7:41 p.m.

I feel like I'm making good progress on my new book, which is partly based on my ancestors, but still fiction. I have learned so much about where I came from and so much about history in this part of the country while researching this book. 

I know it's a work of fiction, but I want to be historically correct wherever possible. I wish I could afford to visit a couple of places in person and really get a feel for them, but that's probably not going to happen, so research will have to do for now. Maybe by the time I'm ready to edit...

In the meantime, my novella is still available at Amazon. Here's the link: 

https://www.amazon.com/S23HF50-Subject-Human-Female-Age/dp/1534864067?ie=UTF8&qid=1467575814&ref_=la_B01H2HJBHQ_1_1_twi_pap_2&s=books&sr=1-1 

I hope you'll give it a try!

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9:45 p.m.

I'm a little worried that this little guy hasn't peed yet since being sedated. But he did have a small snack of tuna fish to take his pills. Now to keep him from licking his wound. He looks so sad in his cone of shame. 

I'm going to take my little buddy out and hopefully put hime to bed for the night.

Good-night!

August 13, 2016
7:34 p.m.

Oh man, there are days when all you want to do is go on a giant bitch-fest, and today is one of those days.

I can handle a lot, personally. I still haven't any idea what my medical problem is, just that I have one. I have too much month at the end of my money. I still need to level my house and get my roof fixed. But it's cool. None of those things make me want to kick my feet and scream or anything.

What does make me want to kick and scream is when bad things happen to my kids. I don't want bad things to happen to my kids. I want them to be happy and healthy and in a good place. Always. Forever. Amen.

I am pretty sure that I'm no different than any other mom. We would all rather suffer ourselves than see our children in any distress.

I feel so helpless right now. These are the times when I wish with all my heart that I had a car and money and POWER.

Kid number two is stranded in Kansas with a broken down car and three kids. Kid has had a horrible year--broken down cars, lost jobs, lost home. Now they're just trying to get here and start over. and BLAM! What the heck?!

And me? I can buy the occasional bag of diapers and send a buck or two, but basically--I am useless. It makes me so frustrated!

I want to be SuperMom and fix everything! Why can't I do that?

Honestly, it tests my faith.

I hate feeling this way, but sometimes I really wonder--why the tests? Why the trials? Especially since they seem to befall the people who are basically good and doing their best, while the evil just go on and on with their money and their power and nothing ever happens to them.

Okay, that's not a very nice thought, is it? I'm probably just asking for more trouble.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Tonight seems like a good night to NOT think.

So I'll stop for now. I'll read a book, and pray for my kids. And pray some more. Etc.

Maybe you could help me out with that.

Thank you.

Good night.

August 6, 2016
11:46 a.m.


I was washing my hair, and while rinsing soap out of my face I opened my eyes and saw a gigantic spider.

How do I know it was gigantic? Because I could see it. I can't see worth a hill of beans without my glasses, and I don't shower with glasses on. But I clearly saw that spider.

I am not a screamer. Honestly. I am a gasper in most cases, and my "screams" are generally a loudly exhaled "OH!"

I screamed. My son and the doggies came running. They found me grasping a towel and dripping in the middle of the bathroom. I had jumped out, yanked the shower curtain closed and grabbed a towel in a matter of seconds.

"Jesus Christ, Mom!" my son yelled. "You scared the crap out of me! What happened?"

"Sp--sp--spider," I gasped, pointing at the shower. "BIG spider."

"It was probably just hair," he groaned.

"It was a spider. HUGE spider. I saw it!"

"How? You can't even see me right now." He handed me my glasses and I put them on. "How could you tell it was a spider?"

I wrapped the towel more firmly around me. "It was a spider," I insisted.

"Guess I'll kill it, then," he said, and reached for the shower curtain. He pulled it open, and...

and...

And who the heck knows?

I woke up.

I hate nightmares.

So...do I hope that he pulled the curtain open and found a humongous spider that totally justified my scream reaction?

Or do I hope he was right and it was just a clump of hair--or my own overactive imagination? (Nah, I'd never hear the end of it!)

I don't know. All I know is that while in the shower this morning I experienced a nightmare flashback and had an asthma attack that got my son on his feet and running to the bathroom to check on me.

Good grief!

I'm fine, by the way.

In the aftermath, it occurs to me that this is the first time I remember having a dream in which I could not see without my glasses. What's up with that?

I dream a lot. I can always see perfectly fine in my dreams. Does that mean I'm wearing my glasses in my dreams?

That can't be right. I mean, I sometimes dream that I wake up in the middle of the night needing to pee, and I get up and go to the bathroom. I don't put on glasses, and I can see just fine. Around the time buttocks meet porcelain, I really wake up and rush to the bathroom--but I grab my glasses first. You know, so I can see in the dark!

Does anyone else ever have this stupid dream, or is it just me?

Does anyone else put on their glasses, even though they're not going to turn on the lights?

It might be time for me to go do something else for awhile.

Guess I'll walk the dogs. Ta ta!

August 3, 2016
6:45 p.m.

I'm so bad. It's been half a month since my last post, and that was a sad post. I need to up my game, or something.

I barey recognize myself lately. Suddenly I am following politics and researching candidates. Suddenly I am investigating the sources of many political posts on Facebook instead of just scrolling past them as fast as I can. Suddenly I am very interested in the history of this country.

For example, I keep seeing posts claiming that this country was founded on Christianity. But it's not the whole truth.

This country was based on a Secular foundation that supports Freedom of Religious expression.

The Pilgrims came to the New World where they would be free to practise their religion. Those Puritans originally wrote colonial constitutions regarding a religious government, which would establish one true church as the country's religion.

The Founding Fathers changed all that when they penned the Federal Constitution, forever separating Church and State. They specified that the US government would not interfere with the People's right to practise--or not--their preferred religions.

Other Pilgrims arrived, after being persecuted. The Latter Day Saints emigrated due to the promise that they would be free to worship as they saw fit. So did the many Jewish people who fled persecution. People have come from all over the world to experience the freedom we have to worship as we please, or to worship not at all. To this day, there are colonies of Amish and Mennonite who are free to live among the other people of the US without fear that those others will force their beliefs upon them. So far, no government agency has forced them to buy cars and install electric lights. Conversely, no member of these societies has tried to force their neighbors to live as they do.

The United States is not a Christian Nation, it is a secular Nation that does not interfere with its citizens' religions.

I guess I'm just ranting about this because I'm tired of all the posts I see that have clearly been passed on by people who didn't bother to question whether it was the truth or not.

It reminds me of all the times the death of Jackie Chan has been reported, while he is alive and well.
At some point in the future--hopefully very far in the future--when he really passes on, I won't believe it.

Anyway, if you're still under the impression that this country was founded on Christianity, I suggest you read the Constitution. It was written the way it was for the express purpose of not establishing a single religion as THE religion, because of the past examples of religious politics in the old country.

Ugh, what has happened to me? I'm supposed to be happy and carefree and not care about this stuff.

I think tomorrow I will think about something else. For now, I'm going to take the dogs out and call it a day.

Cheers!