December 27, 2018
2:45 p.m.
Well, it has been over a month since I posted anything. I just wrote a great deal of news and decided that it wasn't what I wanted to say, so here I am, starting from scratch.
November 20th seems a lifetime ago. Playing with the dog, getting a kick out of her antics, all seems far away at the moment. Although, to tell you the truth, I am so grateful to have Molly around, because she fills the house with joy.
She's in Wyoming right now, though. And I am in Colorado.
I came on the 18th. I had purchased tickets for the trip after I broke a corner off a front tooth. I got a good deal, so of course they were non-refundable and couldn't be exchanged.
How was I to know December would turn into such a crock of doo-doo?
My sister had already arranged to take the time while I'm away to stay with my parents. Thank God for that. My brother also make plans to be with them for Christmas. I'm so happy that my parents have had someone with them every day.
It doesn't keep me from being a worry-wart. And I still feel like a stinky skunk for leaving at just this time, although I never would have planned it this way and things just happened to fall the way they did for no discernible reason.
December 2018. Blah and Bah, humbug to ye!
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I don't suppose I've ever seen a more unfriendly month. It started with news from my Dad's best friend. I received a private message asking me to let Dad know that his friend's beloved wife had passed the night before, on December 7th.
Well, suffice to say, giving bad news is a bitch in any circumstances, but there followed the hell of repetition. I told Dad. Then I told him again. And again. He couldn't grasp it. He was--and is--deeply concerned for his dear friend, but he hasn't been able to retain the information.
He has, however, moments of supreme clarity. We sat having coffee the morning after the funeral. He said, "I can't believe she's gone. I can't imagine what my friend is going through. Did you know that they've been together since they were kids?"
"Yes, I heard someone say they had found notes he wrote to her when they were ten years old," I replied.
"Ten," Dad said, nodding. "They married while they were still in school. They went to sleep together, woke up together, ate together. They talked to each other every day. Today, he woke up alone. He didn't have anyone to talk to at breakfast." Dad let out a watery sigh. "Oh, my friend! He must feel like he's been broken in half."
I couldn't disagree. It was rare to see one without the other. I haven't seen him yet, myself, but I know my first impulse when I do will be to ask where she is. I will bite my tongue and give him a hug instead.
"My friend," Dad told me, "has God, though. When you have God, you always know you'll see your love again."
And we looked at each other with tears in our eyes and drank our coffee.
An hour later he asked me if something had happened. I said yes. He said he'd thought it was a bad dream.
In the meantime, I had gotten another message, this one from my cousin. He asked me to let my mother know that her sister had had a stroke. This was December 10th.
End of life decisions were made, and on December 17th, my Aunt passed peacefully in her sleep.
My mother was unable to make the trip to California to say goodbye to her sister. She felt guilty about it, but she has been through three surgeries this year and her health hasn't returned to normal. Such a long trip would have been too hard for her, and she has no need to feel bad about that.
(Says the woman who feels guilty for coming home to do her dental work and spend Christmas with her kids. People are weird.)
As I stated in the beginning, I left the next day. So, yeah. Guilt. But I thank God my sister was able to come, that my brother came for Christmas and that my other sister and brother live right in town. I know my parents are in excellent hands.
My tooth is fixed. My medications are waiting for me to pick them up at the pharmacy. I go back to Wyoming next week.
It hasn't felt at all like a holiday this year.
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11:06 p.m.
On Christmas Day we went to a friend's home for dinner and had a very nice visit. The food was quite good, the company even better.
The little ones got to beat up a pinata, and I have to say, that thing was well built. It took quite a beating to get it to give up its treats.
That was a nice day, but it still didn't feel like Christmas to me. Maybe next year.
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I have been here a week. My accomplishments? Well, my tooth is fixed and my prescriptions are ready to be picked up at the pharmacy. I've been scolded by my doctors' office for not refilling them sooner, and I took it like a champ.
I won $3.00 on a scratch ticket, which, coincidentally cost me $3.00.
I am on a roll!
I have caught up on some television shows.
And I may have managed to save the life of my Kindle, which is over 5 years old and contains many good books that I don't wish to lose. I will have to wait for a few hours to see if this latest attempt at Kindle resuscitation is a success.
The last think I hope to accomplish before I leave on the 2nd is a good haircut. Emphasis on "good". My hair is driving me nuts.
Oh! I didn't tell you, but I also finished a book. It was released on Christmas Eve. You can find it here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L4GM4PN.
There's probably lots more catching up to do. Certainly, I need to resolve to do better at this.
Good night, everyone.
