April 15, 2020
2:23 p.m.

Kaylea and Wade with Tabitha and Rafe

Shayla and Journey

Molly

It's April, and that means it is time to celebrate all the April babies! These are some of mine, and I love them all. Happy April Birthdays!!
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Today would usually be tax day, but due to weird times, today is NOT tax day. Don't worry, it hasn't been cancelled, just postponed. The IRS will be happy to take your money soon.
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In other news, it is snowing. I am ready for this to be over. Sunshine and flowers, hurry up.
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Happy thoughts only. Happy thoughts.

Well, once again, it is the birthday month for all these cuties. Kaylea, Shayla, Journey, Wade and Molly--You are April diamonds. Shine on!


Y'all shine on, too!

April 13, 2020

It's Easter Monday, and ages since my last post.

I have been focusing on fiction this year, mostly because real life has gotten so very strange.

That said, some of the fiction I wrote last year seems like a bit of foreshadowing in these recent days. My book, Starting in the Middle of The End, focuses on a trio of little girls who are caught up in a dangerous situation and eventually moved to an underground hiding place during events that leave the world changed forever. Dystopian stuff, but now a bit weirder to me in light of things going on.

Last winter I wrote a short story featured in my book Scribbles: A Short Story Collection called A Little Cold, where things went a little sideways. It was written and in editing before the current situation hit the news.

Am I weird, or what?

Now, this current situation is something we need to be aware of, and we need to have good and reliable information going forward. I don't feel like we're getting that from the current Administration. Anyone who spends three quarters of each interview making excuses and placing blame and calling people names is not someone I have any faith in.

As I write, I am listening to yet another press conference, and feeling very much like I might puke on my shoes. I have no trust anymore in what is going on in the country.

That said, I have been heartened by the response of Governor Jared Polis in Colorado. I feel that he was much more proactive than many, not including Cuomo in New York, and if everyone had done as they did, things might look better today.

Now they're talking about re-opening the economy. The Thingy announces that he has all the authority over all the states to do this, which is a lie. He says no one needs ventilators, things are doing better, everyone is getting all the ventilators they need.

The lies go on and on.

I feel a need to stay current and that need is in direct opposition to my need to filter the bullshit by turning everything off.

Sigh.

You can maybe see why I haven't posted much real-time commentary lately. It's depressing. Plus, I don't feel like arguing about it.

Hey, I plugged a couple of my books. Go get them and read. Escape for a while. Enjoy.
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Easter happened.

It didn't happen the way it usually does, and that makes me sad. We usually have a nice family dinner with everyone, but yesterday it was just Mom, Dad and me. Homemade soup, biscuits and fresh apple pie. It was delicious.

But, wow. It was lonely not being with everyone.

My reaction? Look at really old Easter photos. 

Ha ha. Check out my terrible fashion sense in that top photo. What on earth was I thinking? I'm sad to report that my fashion choices haven't much improved over the years.

Anyway, Happy Easter to all. 

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My New Year's resolution to write more is a bust, and I'm not going to repeat it here. I will try. I do write another blog, and it features mostly fiction. It's easier for me to cope with make-believe these days. You can read that at Penz-O-Paula. I hope you'll visit and follow me. 

In the meantime, please safe. Make sure you follow those Social Distancing guidelines. Wear a mask when you go out, but stay home as much as possible. Wash your hands. Wash them a lot. Wash them some more. 

January 13, 2020
12:52 p.m.

Birthday shout-outs are in order today. To all these January babies-- Leiah Joyce Sisson, Eliel Ibarra, Valerie Ibarra, Maggie & Xavier Amaya--Happy Birthday!!! Have a wonderful year, and a wonderful everything, and know that I love you!!

Valerie and Sam

Leiah

Jose, Carlitos, and Eliel

Megan, Mariah

Maggie, Santa and Xavier

No doubt there are more January birthdays, but I think I got all of them so far this month. 

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5:55 p.m.

I have this thing about New Years. January feels like the wrong time for me to start a new year. I am not crazy about January. It's cold. It gets dark too early. It's cold. The daylight doesn't last long enough to get anything done. And, damn it, it's cold. 

Now, all my snow loving buddies are going to get me over this. Hey, buddies! Enjoy your ski trip. Don't break anything, have fun, drink some cocoa for me in the lodge. Good on you! January is all yours, with my blessing. 

I don't know who decided that January 1st should mark the beginning of a new year. Why not April 1st, when new growth is happening? Flowers are making their first appearances, trees are showing off new leaves, grass is getting green. That's NEW. In nature, this is about the time for new babies to make their debuts--calves, lambs, foals, deer, bunnies. Nature is smarter than we are--it knows when things are NEW. 

People, now... not too bright, are we, starting over in the dead of winter? That's when the only thing new is the strained back and the sprained ankle we got from shoveling snow and falling on the ice! 

I'm not really dissing January. Well, I am, because...brr! But no. I'm not. I'm dissing January as the beginning of a new year.  How can anything be new when a good portion of nature is actually sound asleep? Can't we start the year when the bears wake up? 

Of course, while Spring makes the most sense to me as the beginning of a new year, there is a part of me that still considers the first day of a new school year the real new year. Of course, I was that rare child who actually loved school and looked forward to day one every year. New grade, new teachers, new classes, new things to learn. Maybe new friends and sometimes even new schools! So exciting! 

As a parent, this was still my new year, getting the kids new clothes, shoes, school supplies. NEW. Starting over. 

January seems like the Wednesday of months, the hump you have to get over on the way to Friday, which I suppose is somewhere around June. 

Yup, I am not a big fan of January. I am currently one great big arthritic ache, and at some point in my life I may have to consider a warmer climate. 

It's cold. 

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I have spent most of the last year here in Wyoming, care taking. I've been trying to figure out the mail schedule, and I have to finally admit that there isn't one. It comes when it comes. I don't like checking the mail in the dark, but mostly that's what happens. The only days it comes early is when I am trying to mail something out. Then, even if I hit the mailbox by 10:00 a.m., the mail has been delivered. It's like someone knows....

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My parents have had the same telephone number since 1966. Every telemarketer in the entire world has it, and I think half of them have called today. Sheesh! 

Remember when our cell numbers were unlisted? I wish they still were. I have gotten so many calls lately. The one I get most is to remind me that the warranty on my car is about to expire.

I haven't owned a car since 2005. I think they're a little late, don't you? 

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Well, I am off! Stay warm, drink something hot, cover up, be cozy! 

Monday, January 6, 2020
5:18 p.m.

Happy New Year!

It's the 12th day of Christmas, and the wise men have finished their journey to the manger to pay their respects to Mary and welcome her son, Jesus, to the world.

In some areas of Mexico, children will fill their shoes with hay or grain for the camels and burros that carried the gifts to the newborn babe.

If you're here in the US, you can take down your Christmas tree.

The way I'm going, that tree might stay up all year. Ha ha. I like it. It's pretty. It's not going to die. It's cheery.
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I have been horrible about keeping this blog going in the past year. When I started it, I wanted it to be filled with family anecdotes and news and good, cheery thoughts.

2019 was not a cheery year.

Oh, I did post about family reunions and travels. We had some good times. We enjoyed our trips, saw pretty sights and spent time with great people, and I was happy to write about those things.

But, since I have been so determined not to write a bummer blog full of complaints and sadness and such, I found I had little to say in 2019.

You know, nothing bad happened directly to me in 2019. I have been housed and fed. I have clean clothes and shoes. I'm good.

But, as a mother, grandmother and daughter, I've experienced peripherally the pain my family has been going through.

Last year saw my daughters go through betrayal, abuse, stalking, robbery and vandalism.

My son has had several health issues.

My grandchildren have had to deal with the consequences of adults' bad choices.

My father is shrinking. I mean it. I feed him up all day, and he keeps losing weight, mostly muscle. He is in one stage or other of dementia, and I feel so helpless because I can't do anything about it.

I admit it. I'm a fixer. Present me with a problem, and I go to work trying to take care of it.

These things have been beyond me. No matter what, I can't change some things, and it really ticks me off.

I can't fix mean people, including but not limited to spouses, who think it's okay to treat my girls like crap. I mean, I could...but it might not be legal. I always said "Hurt my baby, and I will hurt you." Easier said than done. But I will help in all ways possible to get them away from the bullshit and on their feet.

I can't do anything to make my son's health improve faster than it is. And it is improving, so there's that. But it has not been fun knowing he hasn't felt his best.

I can't cure dementia. All I can do is continue to take care of Dad and hope things progress slowly and that he will always know who we are and how much we love him.

So, here I am in the first week of the New Year, bitching about the old one. I want to be hopeful that 2020 will be better, but if this past week is any indication, I'd be wasting my time.

Australia is on fire. Politics and the associated bull has divided our nation, and now we appear to be on the brink of a war that is largely a political ploy. We can't trust anyone; even the so-called Faithful have proven themselves to be seeking riches and attention on earth instead of storing up their riches in heaven.

Socially, we're walking backward. Fewer rights for women. Fewer rights for the disenfranchised. Fewer avenues of help for the poor and hungry.

What has happened?

Okay, so here's the terrible deal. This blog is called MeThinks, and these days, I don't always think positively. I will do my best to be cheery and optimistic, but in the coming year, you might see a few literal bitch-fests.

Feel free to chime in!

Let's try to have a happier new year. Hang in there!

September 23, 2019
12:07 p.m.

Over the last few years--probably since the beginning of the new millennium--I have become the photographic documentarian of the family. I have tried very hard to be present for special occasions; births, weddings, holidays and reunions have come to hold a special place in my heart, and I feel a need to leave some sort of memory footprint behind each one. 

The picture above is actually a rarity--my mother, me and my grandmother in a photograph together. The occasion was my own wedding day, but that's not relevant. What is relevant is the fact that there are not more photos like this.

Yes, I find pictures of my parents and grandparents all the time, but I'm not with them in very many of them. Part of the reason may be that I don't particularly like being the subject in a photo. I'd much rather be behind the camera. But the other reason is we didn't seem to feel it was important to leave those memory footprints behind when I was younger. There was always going to be another day, another opportunity to take a quick snapshot. 

I have so many memories of spending time with my grandparents, but very few photos to look at and see that we were actually there, together, spending quality time. I wish now that there were a lot more. 

I guess that's the reason I do take the time to pose for pictures with my children and grandchildren now, even when I'd rather be out of the shot and behind the lens. Someday, they may want to see some evidence that I was there with them. 

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4:07 p.m.

Speaking of photographs, I have spent hours now (not all in one day, mind you) looking for one particular photo. It's driving me nuts. 

And now, I found some photos from a 1991 reunion, and I know there are more, but do you think I can find those? Nope. They are probably scanned on my computer in Denver, which is dying a slow and noisy death. Thank heaven I have them backed up on another driver. Wherever that is.

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Since I have blabbed away about photos, can I just ask you readers, how do you manage your own photographs? Do you just maintain albums of prints and store your digitals on the cloud? Do you scan old photos and save them on a device or a DVD? Do you print your digital photos? Please let me know in the comments.

I'm off in search of the rest of those reunion photos. Wish me luck!

Until we meet again! 

September 4, 2019
1:38 p.m.

It seems to me that it has been a long year. Kind of a tough year, too.

My parents are getting older. We who are lucky enough to still have parents can all say that--they are getting older. But this past year has been a time when I could actually see it happening, day by day. Not just because I'm here every day, either. Because it has accelerated.

I suppose once someone reaches that eight-decade milestone, acceleration is to be expected. So why did I not expect it?

Mom has been through so much in two years. Four surgeries--three elective for knee and hip replacements and one that literally saved her life two years ago when she had a blockage in her small intestine. She uses a cane, even after surgeries, and frequently also makes use of a walker. Still, she remains strong in mind and manages her days well.

Dad is weakening daily. He has become confused and no longer takes joy in the things he used to love. His appetite is sporadic; some days he eats well, and other days I have to beg and ply him with extra protein drinks. He has issues with balance and has fallen several times in the past few months, at one time injuring himself quite badly.

I no longer feel comfortable if I'm not with them all the time.

That said, I have to go to Colorado next week for medical stuff and *gasp* jury duty. My sister will come and stay with them.

I have gotten to a point in my life where I find myself "borrowing trouble". Worst case scenarios just pop into my head, and I'm not sure how to deal with that. I might be a little depressed.
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Last week was pretty nice, since my nephew and his wife and daughter came for a visit that lasted longer than a weekend. It was so nice to spend some good time visiting with them.

 

They make their home in Washington, which is too far away, of course. Every time someone says "It's a small world", all I can think is that it sure seems big to me, when all the people I love are too far away for me to visit every day! 

At any rate, we got to have a few days of good visits, and my sister and brother-in-law did a really nice barbecue at their house. Good food, good company. Who could ask for more?

(I could have asked for no migraine, but I managed to enjoy the day, the food and the company in spite of the darn headache. Boy, those things are killjoys, aren't they?)
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The Labor Day thing has come and gone, and now we must prepare for summer's end. I hope we have a long and mild autumn before winter comes. I hear the winter predictions this year are dire. Ugh.

Speaking of Labor Day, I didn't even glance at sales, look at traffic statistics or in any way acknowledge that the holiday is about anything else but good labor laws. Aren't you proud of me?
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I'm going to have to grab the dog. Neighbor has a new pup, and she's really winding Molly up with her barking. They are going to drive all the neighborhood nuts. It's probably a pleasant conversation, but I don't have a doggie translation app. Ha ha!

Y'all have a good evening!

Roadtripping

Thursday, August 22, 2019
2:14 p.m.

Here we are at the beautiful Shoshone National Forest in Twin Falls, Idaho. 

When vacationing, one must always take time to see new sights. 

This was my first visit to the falls, and I hope it won't be my last. 

Absolutely gorgeous!

We headed home from the family reunion on Monday,  August 12th, with only a vague plan for sight-seeing on a different route than the one we took going there. I'm so glad we did; we saw some beautiful scenery!

My brother and his family had left the day before to go see Craters of the Moon. I haven't been there since I was a nine-year-old. They traveled on to Jackson, WY and just took their time since everyone had a few more vacation days.

The rest of us had to make it home Monday night, so we got an early start and headed for Twin Falls.

 

Before we hit town, we stopped at an overlook area and I wandered down to a fenced-off area to get these shots. In the place where the fence was down, of course I had to step right up to the edge. I'm a little nutty that way. 

Once we got into town, we stopped at another overlook area where I had no choice but to stay in a safe spot. 

 

 

 

 

 I was lucky enough to get a good shot of a hang glider under the bridge, even got a few seconds of video! Sometimes you're just in the right place at the right time!

We traveled in two vehicles, and made our way through the Shoshone National Forest and down to the falls. Those were some twisty, narrow roads, I'll tell you! I am not a fan of twisty and narrow, so I scrunched down with my book until we got closer to our destination.

Roads, be damned, the twists were worth it!

 

 

 

 

 

Even before you can see the falls, as you walk down from the parking areas, you can hear the roar and feel the spray of water on your face. It's an amazing sight, the rainbows standing just above the water, the rock formations, the rapidly running spill of white water. 

The power generated by this much running water is awesome to contemplate. I can only imagine what changes in the landscape may have occurred over the centuries. Nature can be daunting, to say the least. 

After our visit to the falls, we headed for Ogden, Utah, and the most disappointing lunch I've had in quite a while. I was really looking forward to some tasty barbecued ribs. They were burnt. If we hadn't had to get home for our drivers to rest up for work on Tuesday, I would have sent them back. As it stands, I still haven't done a Yelp review, and that place should probably hope that I don't get around to it. Wreck my ribs, and I can be brutal. 

We made it home well before dark, and I thought Molly MuttDoggle would wiggle herself to pieces, she was so happy to be home and running around in her own yard. She turned out to be a really good traveler, but, like Dorothy, she believes wholeheartedly that there's no place like home. 

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6:43 p.m.

A nice spaghetti dinner, and I made cookies, so the parents are full and content. Molly is napping by Dad's side while they watch a western. 

As we've all gotten older, it takes us longer to recuperate from a long trip, but I think we've gotten over it. 

Mom and Dad celebrated 62 years of marriage on the 17th of August. It's an amazing thing when people stay together and love each other for year after year. It's an inspiration.

Mom celebrated her 82nd birthday on the 20th. We all got together and ate Mexican food and watched a funny movie. 

Blessings. We have them, and thank our lucky stars.

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Until we meet again!