July 23, 2014
6:34 p.m.

I have grandchildren over for a few days! Hurray!

We went to the pool for awhile, and I got to thinking that I wish I had one of the newer model Kindles that you can see well out in sunlight. This old lady does not submerge in cold water. No, no, no. This old lady reads while the kids--who seem to be unaffected by cold--swim and play. Yep.
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Call me crazy, but I am going to roast a turkey tomorrow. Who says I have to wait for a holiday? Gonna make all the fixings, too.

It may interest you to know that I have a counter top roaster--I don't have to use the oven. Just in case you thought I was really crazy. Cuz it's hot out there this week, folks.
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How hard is it to remember to buy a new toothbrush? Do I literally have to be brushing my teeth in the store to say to myself, "Wow, I need a new one of these.!"?
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Aughh! I think I handled a spoon better when I was a toddler. Stupid arthritis!
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My granddaughter is just like me: up all night! Wait til school starts, she's going to get quite a shock to her system. (I can't believe she starts middle school this year. Dang, time flies!)
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I think I have thought enough for one day. I'm gonna watch a movie with my grandkids and do Sudoku puzzles.

Good night!

July 22, 2014
9:38 p.m.

There are times in life when a person has to come to terms with what they are and what it is.

I am not Nellie Nitpicky or Hollie Housekeeper or Martha Stewart. I have good intentions, (sort of) but I will never be the type of person whose house is their main focus. I do just enough in my house so that it looks semi-respectable. I always promise myself that I will do better, but it's never gonna happen.

I hate housework.

There. I said it. I've put it out there. Now everyone knows, and do I care?

Not really.

My house will never be listed in Better Homes and Gardens. If there were such a thing, it would be listed in Better than Nothing.

I mean, I have issues, man. I could totally become that crazy lady living with piles of stuff that she just can't throw away. You know, a HOARDER. But I am trying to curb that tendency to save things because I might need them later. (Although every time I do, sure enough I find a use for it! Then I go searching for it, and it's GONE! Devastation!)

But, just so you know, I have never been compelled to save my toenail clippings in a coffee can. I'm not that far gone, thank God!

Seriously, I am proud of myself because I went through my closet and got rid of some clothes I brought with me from Wyoming when I moved here in 1999. You might not believe it, but this is progress. I still have a few things--it's a process--but it's nice to have some room in there.

Yesterday I went through papers on my desk and filled up my little garbage can with papers I don't need. Why was I saving them? I don't know.

I will not throw away the drawing the grandchildren have made for me, though. Don't even suggest it. To suggest such a thing may put you in serious peril. I don't care if it's a fire hazard. My grandchildren made them for me. They're mine!

Also, I finally replaced my old sheets and tossed them. I bought new ones in December, but I never opened the packages and just kept washing and using the old ones, even though they were falling apart.

I believe in using my stuff til it dies.

Well, it's all going to be out there now. The world will now know for sure that I am slightly wacky.

I doubt it will come as a surprise to anyone.
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I am hoping for some good news on the job-training front in the next few days. Send some positive vibes my way, will you please??

I may get to take some more classes, which will help a great deal in my job search. Nothing is finalized, though, but I would really love this, so again: please send positive thoughts my way!

Thank you!

And good night!

July 18, 2014
10:51 p.m.

I find that I am disappointed that my last post didn't generate more responses. I really feel strongly that people over the age of fifty have a harder time getting back into the workforce after losing a job, and I wish more people would join the conversation.

By the way, if you are reading my blog and you're a job seeker under fifty, I am still interested in your comments about your job hunt.

I just saw an ad that claimed that Colorado now has an unemployment rate under 5%. I don't think I believe that. I think a lot of people who had a choice to begin collecting Social Security decided it was time to do so after repeatedly not getting the jobs they were after. It wasn't my first choice, but Unemployment benefits don't last forever! I had to be able to make it from one day to the next somehow.

Maybe the number of people now collecting Unemployment has decreased, but that doesn't necessarily mean that employment in the state has increased. It just means that a lot of people gave up looking for jobs.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I am the problem, and everyone else is doing great.

Tell me so! Please comment!
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 On a more cheerful note, I have to say that I'm very excited about becoming a grandmother again come January. This will be number eight! I want to say I'm hoping for a girl to even up the numbers--it's presently three girls, four boys--but I think it's a boy. I don't know why.

My daughter has Crone's Disease, and she's been having a difficult time so far, but has made it to her second trimester now, so she has shared the news. I anticipate the possibility that I may need to go to her location somewhat earlier than January, so I may be spending Christmas out there this year. That will be nice--I have not had Christmas with my far-away daughters since their daughters were babies!

Knowing that I will at some point have to make a trip east, I am now quite ambivalent about my job search. I have been looking for a job all year, but if I get one now I won't have been with it long enough to request time off for the delivery of the new baby.

I would hate missing the delivery of the newest grandchild. I have missed only one delivery out of the last seven, and it was the same daughter. She delivered early and I didn't make it out until my grandson was a week old. I was sad.
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Well, I clearly have nothing much to say tonight except "Good night!"

July 16, 2014
4:02 p.m.

I've been gone awhile from this venture. I had decided, somewhere in my boggled mind, that "Me Thinks" should be light and jolly, and although my life is not tragic or anything, I've just had nothing light and jolly on my mind.

Then I had a visit with dear friends who ask why I hadn't been posting, and they told me that the things that are on my mind were worth sharing. No one is light and jolly all the time, after all, and it's no crime to say what's on your mind during the times when you're not.

I can get behind that, especially since nothing I have on my mind will hurt anyone if I say something about it. So I guess I am back.

As many of you already know, I "retired" on disability a few years ago, at the ripe old age of fifty. I didn't want to stop working, but I didn't really have a choice at the time. Well, I guess I did have one choice--keep it up and end up in the hospital.

I was a really sad lady in really sad shape. I tried to get another job, but it was pretty clear that I was never going to be doing what I'd done in the past. So I went back to school.

I studied hard. I got sick and missed my original graduation schedule, but I mad it through and graduated with a 4.0 grade average. Honor student. Yay me. Then I continued my studies and tested for Certification. Now I am a Certified Professional Coder. Again, yay me.

So why can't I find a bloody job? I am qualified, I am eager to re-join the workforce, and--damn it all--I am a good employee. I work hard. I'm reliable and honest. I have tons of workplace experience. I have excellent communication skills, both written and verbal. I am great with people, even those who choose to be difficult at times. These things should matter in the job market.

But apparently, they don't.

What seems to matter more and more is my age. I'm over fifty, and therefore will not be long for this world. Naturally, I won't last long in any job, because I'm old and I will die soon. Or something.

Okay, yes, I got sick. Explaining a four-year gap between jobs is a pain in the butt. And it's true that my health issues are not going to disappear, much as I would love that. But I addressed the main issues by choosing a new career path. I would not be exposing myself to the same circumstances in this vocation. That was the whole point in going back to school and learning something new.

All anyone hears is: I got sick. All they see is: woman over fifty.

And lets be honest, here. Even if I hadn't gotten sick, even if I just lost a job recently, employers still see the same thing when I go in for an interview: Woman over Fifty.

I dyed my hair. I use anti-wrinkle cream, even though I don't really have any wrinkles. I worry about my sun-spots and the fact that my face seems to be sliding off my skull. For the first time in my life, I wonder about the validity of botox and face-lifts. Not because I want to be beautiful, but because I am beginning to hate the way the thirty-something interviewers I've been meeting with assess me and dismiss me with a glance.

Too old.

I've been told I don't have enough experience in the field, and that may be true if assessing only the job title, but further study of my resume proves that I have several years of experience in this field. I've been involved in the medical field for over twenty years. You don't work with the public for over thirty years without learning how to deal with people and situations.

Look: I've been yelled at by irate mothers who decided I was the only one they could vent their anger at because the Doctor is God and they can't vent at there, and I've never lost my cool. They vented, and then we talked it over. I've fought with social services and insurance companies for the sake of a child's health--or, in some cases, a child's life. I have even cried with grieving parents. No one can teach you any of this; it comes with experience.

And experience covers a lot more than just work. My life-experience makes me a great candidate for employment. I have learned to deal with situations that younger people have never even thought of. You don't raise four children alone without learning something. You don't balance a budget and manage a household on practically no money without learning something.

And, damn it, I'm not a quitter. I was not ready for this. I'm still not ready for this. I would be happier and probably healthier if I had a place to go to every day with some goals to aspire to and a purpose beyond the walls of my own house.

I might even sleep better.

Workers over fifty are being pushed out of their jobs every day because someone has decided that we can no longer make a meaningful contribution. Either that, or because they are too cheap to pay us what we're worth, and know that they can hire someone younger, someone with less experience in life, for less.

These over-fifty job seekers are facing hell-on-earth trying to get back to work. I know I'm not alone in this--but I feel alone.

It makes me tired. It makes me question my self-worth. And that makes me angry.

End of rant--for the moment.

Now, I would really appreciate some feedback.

Over-fifty job seekers, please let me know how you are doing. It would really help me feel like I'm not alone in this struggle.

Employers, why are you ignoring this pot-of-gold pool of potential employees who would require less training and supervision, and who are more likely to stay for the long haul?

Please comment.

Thank you.