July 16, 2014
4:02 p.m.

I've been gone awhile from this venture. I had decided, somewhere in my boggled mind, that "Me Thinks" should be light and jolly, and although my life is not tragic or anything, I've just had nothing light and jolly on my mind.

Then I had a visit with dear friends who ask why I hadn't been posting, and they told me that the things that are on my mind were worth sharing. No one is light and jolly all the time, after all, and it's no crime to say what's on your mind during the times when you're not.

I can get behind that, especially since nothing I have on my mind will hurt anyone if I say something about it. So I guess I am back.

As many of you already know, I "retired" on disability a few years ago, at the ripe old age of fifty. I didn't want to stop working, but I didn't really have a choice at the time. Well, I guess I did have one choice--keep it up and end up in the hospital.

I was a really sad lady in really sad shape. I tried to get another job, but it was pretty clear that I was never going to be doing what I'd done in the past. So I went back to school.

I studied hard. I got sick and missed my original graduation schedule, but I mad it through and graduated with a 4.0 grade average. Honor student. Yay me. Then I continued my studies and tested for Certification. Now I am a Certified Professional Coder. Again, yay me.

So why can't I find a bloody job? I am qualified, I am eager to re-join the workforce, and--damn it all--I am a good employee. I work hard. I'm reliable and honest. I have tons of workplace experience. I have excellent communication skills, both written and verbal. I am great with people, even those who choose to be difficult at times. These things should matter in the job market.

But apparently, they don't.

What seems to matter more and more is my age. I'm over fifty, and therefore will not be long for this world. Naturally, I won't last long in any job, because I'm old and I will die soon. Or something.

Okay, yes, I got sick. Explaining a four-year gap between jobs is a pain in the butt. And it's true that my health issues are not going to disappear, much as I would love that. But I addressed the main issues by choosing a new career path. I would not be exposing myself to the same circumstances in this vocation. That was the whole point in going back to school and learning something new.

All anyone hears is: I got sick. All they see is: woman over fifty.

And lets be honest, here. Even if I hadn't gotten sick, even if I just lost a job recently, employers still see the same thing when I go in for an interview: Woman over Fifty.

I dyed my hair. I use anti-wrinkle cream, even though I don't really have any wrinkles. I worry about my sun-spots and the fact that my face seems to be sliding off my skull. For the first time in my life, I wonder about the validity of botox and face-lifts. Not because I want to be beautiful, but because I am beginning to hate the way the thirty-something interviewers I've been meeting with assess me and dismiss me with a glance.

Too old.

I've been told I don't have enough experience in the field, and that may be true if assessing only the job title, but further study of my resume proves that I have several years of experience in this field. I've been involved in the medical field for over twenty years. You don't work with the public for over thirty years without learning how to deal with people and situations.

Look: I've been yelled at by irate mothers who decided I was the only one they could vent their anger at because the Doctor is God and they can't vent at there, and I've never lost my cool. They vented, and then we talked it over. I've fought with social services and insurance companies for the sake of a child's health--or, in some cases, a child's life. I have even cried with grieving parents. No one can teach you any of this; it comes with experience.

And experience covers a lot more than just work. My life-experience makes me a great candidate for employment. I have learned to deal with situations that younger people have never even thought of. You don't raise four children alone without learning something. You don't balance a budget and manage a household on practically no money without learning something.

And, damn it, I'm not a quitter. I was not ready for this. I'm still not ready for this. I would be happier and probably healthier if I had a place to go to every day with some goals to aspire to and a purpose beyond the walls of my own house.

I might even sleep better.

Workers over fifty are being pushed out of their jobs every day because someone has decided that we can no longer make a meaningful contribution. Either that, or because they are too cheap to pay us what we're worth, and know that they can hire someone younger, someone with less experience in life, for less.

These over-fifty job seekers are facing hell-on-earth trying to get back to work. I know I'm not alone in this--but I feel alone.

It makes me tired. It makes me question my self-worth. And that makes me angry.

End of rant--for the moment.

Now, I would really appreciate some feedback.

Over-fifty job seekers, please let me know how you are doing. It would really help me feel like I'm not alone in this struggle.

Employers, why are you ignoring this pot-of-gold pool of potential employees who would require less training and supervision, and who are more likely to stay for the long haul?

Please comment.

Thank you.