March 4, 2015
3:11 p.m.

You know all those memes out there threatening to eat the groundhog?


I don't want to eat him, but I am about ready to give him a good swift kick in the pants! Haha!

It's snowing again.

I am sitting here with a hot bowl of soup. Hot soup on a cold, snowy day--what more could I ask for?

Well, maybe a cookie...

Lets carry on, shall we?
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Fear, Part 5

I'm still on death, but really, today I am more concerned with quality of life.

I fear becoming a burden to my children.

Remember back in Part 3 when I confessed that I was afraid I might die in my sleep? That was a childhood fear, but as an adult, it seems to me the very best way to go. Crawl into bed, drift into sleep and never wake up.

Sure, I will miss things--I miss things when I'm asleep, like the end of the movie I was watching at four a.m. But I'm sleeping, so I don't actually know I missed it. I mean, that's my logic, however flawed it may be.

These days, that's how I want to go.

But I have to face facts. I don't get a choice. What ever takes me, takes me.

I just don't want to have to be taken care of.

Knowing that, you'd think I would take better care of myself. But, I take terrible care of me. I don't eat right--you will note that after my nice, healthy bowl of soup, I want a cookie. And if I had one, I'd be eating it right now! Probably more than one.

I don't exercise regularly.

I stress out over things I have no control of.

I don't consider myself to be in poor health, but that's just because I refuse to face the fact that I have several chronic conditions that my bad habits are certainly not helping.

And I'm fat.

(Wow. The groundhog doesn't need a good swift kick in the pants--I do!)

Okay, clearly I need to make some changes.

But these issues, while manageable, are not the only ones people have to face. People get sick. People have accidents. People have strokes.

I'm a people.

And these things might not kill me. They might just leave me needing care. I don't want that. If it's something that that I can't get over, I just want to go quickly.

I fear lingering in suffering, which would also cause my family to suffer, more than I do death.

But enough of that.

I don't know what made me reflect on fears these past few days, but I feel I've gotten entirely too serious. If I write any more about it, I think I will focus more on the silly stuff.

You know, like werewolves.

Or being forced to read Twilight again.

Yes, I read it! I admit it!

I'm so ashamed...

I also saw part of the first movie. I made it through the books because I promised a friend I'd give them a fair chance. But I simply cannot do the movies. Yawn. Snore.

Oh! Maybe as a cure for my insomnia?

Um...nope.
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Speaking of movies, I bought "The Wizard of Oz" in 3-D. Fabulous! What a fun trip down the yellow brick road!

Speaking of books, I'm off to Amazon!

Cheers!