January 29, 2014
8:57 p.m.

We watch some crazy stuff around here. Tonight it's "Opposite Worlds". Having recently read the "Hunger Games" series, I'm wondering how long it will be before we start killing each other off for entertainment. It's not that much of a stretch.

Personally, I'm not very invested in these kids of shows. I have never seen an episode of "Survivor". But the kids like it, so I pay minimal attention as they watch.

Oh, good, now it's time for "Psych". This one I'll pay a little more attention to.

Yup, and now we're watching Michael J. Fox. I should probably be trying to do something productive!

I'm done watching stuff now, I think. I have been avoiding adding up the bills and figuring out the drug program for my insurance. Why can't I make a choice one time and have it just continue til I die? For that matter, why can't I just pay the bills once and have that take care of everything til I die.

That is so not going to happen. Darn it.

Anyway, it's pretty much the end of the month, so once again, it's assemble the bills and figure out how pathetic the food budget will be for next month.

I really hate that my life has come to this, and that's why I have worked so hard in the past couple of years. I don't actually have to go back to work. My disabilities are not going to go away or get better, so I can continue as I've been doing. But I want to go back to work, because I feel like I'm too young to be retired.
My studies went well, I graduated with honors, I got that certification--no mean feat, the test was challenging--and now all I can do is apply, send out resumes and hope. And it would be nice to have a couple of bucks left at the end of the month.

I'm not really complaining, because I've been in worse situations. The winter after I had my first car accident and had to have back surgery--horrible. I had four kids to feed and no income at all. What a nightmare.

So I'm not in a horrible situation, things will be fine, but I do want to be able to get a job and put something away for when I really should retire. And hopefully a little something to leave for my kids and grand kids. It won't be millions of dollars--wouldn't that be nice--but a little something, at least.

Anyway, don't need much, I am a very blessed woman. I have children and grandchildren, parents and siblings and even a couple of friends, and that is the best form of wealth there is.

In the meantime, I think I really need to invest a little in some more supplies and make enough jewelry to hit the flea market this summer, just in case I don't have a job by then. Whatever I don't sell always makes good Christmas presents!

That's enough out of me for now, I think.

Good night!