May 28, 2016
1:44 p.m.

Well, plans changed and I am still in Wyoming with my parents. The longer I stay, the harder it is to go, but I'm going to have to go home and take care of business pretty soon whether I want to or not, because that's life!

In the meantime, though, I will get the chance to visit with my brother when he comes into town next week, and for that I am very grateful. I didn't think I'd see him during this little vacation.

On the other hand, I missed the graduation of one of my favorite young people, and that makes me sad. I am so proud of him! The cap and gown look great on him, and his mother is looking proud and beautiful! I would love to post a picture, but I won't do that without permission.
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Having confronted, again, the situation where I really, really want to be two places at once, I just want to know: Where is my transporter? Shouldn't someone have invented this by now?

Seriously, it is my dream to own a transporter and beam myself to wherever I want to be at any given time. I don't mean beam to the store and back, I just mean from Colorado to Wyoming and back, Colorado to Oklahoma and back. You know, the long distance stuff. Denver to Greeley. I would love to never miss a graduation, school program, field trip, birthday or holiday. I want to be there for everyone and everything.

Wouldn't that be so great? Is that too much to ask?

Well, clearly it is...so far. But, ah, what a dream! And dreams can lead to big things.

Unfortunately, I am not a brilliant scientist, but I know there are plenty of you out there. So get to work!
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My sister and I enjoyed a nice day out yesterday. I cannot believe how much Rock Springs has grown and changed. It amazes me that nearly seventeen years have passed since I lived here.

We had some Mexican food, and it was pretty good. Of course, there are tons of leftovers. One thing about the new eating habits--a meal meant for one in most restaurants will feed me at least three times.

We tried some shopping, but nothing caught our attention enough to make us buy it. Which is a good thing!

I had a great time. Thanks, Donna!

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It's Memorial Weekend. It's time for us to reflect upon those who fought and often died to protect us and this great land where we live. It's time to remember those we loved who have moved on without us, whose love we treasured and are forever grateful for.

If part of your celebration includes a trip to the cemetery, may your travels there and home be safe. If, like so many, you venture out on your first camping trip of the season, travel safely.

And if your celebrations include a lot of good food, eat an extra bite or two for me, because I eat vicariously through you all these days. Then message me and tell me what you feasted on!

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I've been going through all lot of old photos while I've been here, and tomorrow I may post a few Memorial photos for those I want never to forget.

Until we meet again--

Happy trails!

May 25, 2016
12:51 p.m.

I can't believe I have been home for nearly two weeks. Time certainly goes by much too quickly. I only have three more days, and it's back to Colorado. If I didn't have so many things to take care of, it would be so great to stay longer.

I has been a wonderful visit, much more so than I could ever have imagined.

For one thing, I was able to reconnect with my sisters-and brothers-in-law whom I haven't seen in years--some of them in decades. Family is so very important to me, and it means the world to me to know that they all still consider me part of their family even though I chose not to remain married to their brother. I love them all so much, and have always, always felt that they were my family, so it was wonderful to know, straight from their own mouths, that they feel the same.

Happy, happy, happy!!

This is my first visit home in years when I've actually seen people I know when I've gone out. Green River, Wyoming is a really small town, but it's amazing how many people here are strangers to me because I have been gone so long.

Now, to be honest, I've been here several days, but I haven't really gone out much. My connections have been in the grocery store, restaurant and Church. Other than that, I hang out with my parents at their house.

I'm such a social butterfly!

Wyoming, like Colorado, has been experiencing quite a rainy Spring. While I've been here, I have tried not to dwell on the havoc this weather is probably causing my roof at home. Thankfully, my son and daughter-in-law are there to dump the bucket!

Ugh! I just thought about my roof. Bummer!

I have been having a great deal of fun going through old photographs and videos while visiting. My goodness, seeing my children on Santa's lap, no bigger than their own children are now--it's incredible! I'm so glad my father decided to get a video camera! Those preserved memories are priceless!

I also found some oldies of myself:

I'm the kid on the right, in the stylish glasses.

Once upon a time, I made my First Communion.

This is scary stuff! Time passes by awfully quickly.

I'm hoping to take some of these old photos and restore them a bit. Wish me luck!

Well, I'm going to go spend some more time with my folks, because I've got to make the most of the time I have left here.

Cheers!

May 11, 2016
11:15 p.m.

I have not one serious thing to think about tonight.

Honestly, if I have to contemplate another political advertisement or deal with the pros and cons of any controversy, I may have to bang my head against a wall.

Today has been about food that's not good for me--

--Yes, I will pay dearly, but-- don't judge me!!--

and a "Gilmore Girls" marathon.

Back in the day when this show was on television, I was working and going to school. I recently read that there is going to be a revival show on Netflix and I thought I might want to check that out. But, of course, not without checking out the original show. That would be confusing!

Anyway, I've been watching this show for a few weeks, and it has been kind of fun. I'm not a rom-com type, and this show loosely fits that genre, but it's just quirky enough to make it work for me. I think it's because the main characters remind me of people I know. And it kind of makes me wish I lived in an area like the town where they live.

It's funny, because I think my hometown probably has some of the same characteristics as this fictional place, and I never experienced those things because I always hid away somewhere with a book and let things pass me by. Or I was busy with babies or busy with work.

I'm about to take a trip home to see my family, and I think I am going to investigate all the goings on in my hometown and see what I may have been missing.
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Tomorrow is all liquids all day, because we will be traveling on Friday, and I don't want to get sick.

I hate having to think about things like this. I just want to be able to eat what I want.

I don't think that's ever going to be possible again.

On the plus side, I am growing fond of Cream of Wheat. It's just hard to find! Why is it so darned hard to find?

Oatmeal is everywhere. Whole shelves of oatmeal; instant oatmeal, oatmeal with fruit, oatmeal with nuts, steel cut, instant cups, oatmeal everywhere.

Where the heck is the Cream of Wheat?

It's so funny to me that when I shop now I think about stocking up on Cream of Wheat in case the next time I shop I can't find it.

You know what else is hard to find? Popsicles. I can find packages with cherry, orange and grape, but what I want are the packages with banana, lime and root beer. I can find them about one time in ten. Since popsicles are something I'm allowed to eat, I think it's only fair that I get the flavors I want.

So what's up with that?

At least the other things are pretty easy to find. My diet plan is so exciting.
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Looking forward to seeing everyone at home!

Off to bed.

Haha!

May 10, 2016

2:42 p.m.

Recently I found myself swinging on the gate of the bathroom debate. 

Can I just say this whole thing has gotten a little out of hand?

Lets face it, people--when it all comes down to ones and twos, everyone has the right to make their ones and twos. 

I know people are screaming about pedophiles, but I have news for you: they have not been waiting around for bathroom laws to give them permission to go into the restrooms of those of opposite genders. Nor have rapists waited with bated breath for the opportunity to walk into the lady's room. These reprobates have been going where they shouldn't be for decades--heck, centuries--without giving one iota of a damn about the law. 

By the way, I shouldn't need to remind anyone of this, but the male pedophile you're worried might go into the same bathroom with your daughter is already in the same bathroom with your son, and there's a 50/50 chance he's more interested in him than he is in her. 

What are you planning to do about that?

The reality is, this is all about transgender people being able to go into the bathroom with others of the gender they have transformed into. And transgender people have been around for decades. Longer than that, if we simply consider those who were unable to have gender reassignment treatments and surgeries. Transgender life has historical reference going back centuries in that case. 

Bathroom monitoring, however? Not so much. 

None of this is about sexual acts of any kind; it's about urinating. Possibly defecating. Washing hands, combing hair and refreshing lipstick. Or my favorite public bathroom activity: tooth brushing. I don't care who's standing next to me at the sink when I spit; it's their own problem if the toothpaste splatters on them. 

Honestly, as long as public restrooms have doors on all the stalls, I really could not care less who is in the next stall. I can't see them; they can't see me. 

I'll be brutally honest here: I would really like a private bathroom all to myself, because I really don't want to be in there with anyone, regardless of gender. It's amazing to me that I ever made it through my children's toddler years, when they insisted that my potty breaks were their potty breaks. If someone else is in the room, I can sit there for ten minutes, unable to start a urine stream. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the gender of the other person in the room. I know there's a closed door between us, that no one can see me, that they wouldn't know me from Adam if they did see me, and they wouldn't care one way or another. 

That doesn't make it any easier for me to pee. I want to be alone.

But these are public restrooms. Public. More than one person in the room at one time. 

So, suck it up, Paula. When you gotta go, you gotta go. 

With all that on my mind, do you really think I'm going to take the time to check out the woman coming into the bathroom to make sure she really is a woman? Would I actually be able to tell? What on earth makes it possible to judge? 

I don't wear makeup. I rarely put on a dress, and the day I wear high heels it will be because I am dead and someone defied my orders for cremation, decided to bury me and dressed me up in a "totally inappropriate for me personally" way. 

I'm jeans and tees and tennis shoes. That doesn't make me a man, and I would deeply resent being stopped at the bathroom door based on my mode of dress. 

I have a friend who occasionally cross dresses. He is not gay and does not identify as a woman, but when he dresses up you would never, ever believe he is a man--until he needs to answer a call of nature and heads for the men's room. He would never dream of trying to go to the women's room, even though he turns heads when he struts into the bathroom he has identified as "his". 

Although he's never been challenged before, I'm worried about him now. Will the men beat him up? Will the women? I mean, he's a heterosexual man in the men's room. But...but...

See, he just needs to pee. That's all. 

Don't we all have the right to pee without getting beaten up?

(I can't believe I'm talking about peeing.)

A transgender friend of mine made the he-to-she switch years ago. She's a woman, a beautiful woman, and has always used the woman's restroom. Are they going to make her use the men's room now because she was born male? I've been in the same public restroom with her: she goes into the stall and shuts the door. Big deal. Just like all the other women in there. Imagine that!  

How the heck does this work? How is it fair? How is it enforced? 

It's ridiculous! 

Transgender people have not gone through all the hormone therapy, surgery, psychiatric care, etc. to end up being persecuted for needing to pee and wanting to do it in the restroom they identify as "theirs".  

These are people who have had a difficult time getting to where they are in their lives. They don't need the added difficulty of having to decide if their personal safety might be affected by their need to pee. 

I'm not unsympathetic to those who fear for the safety of their children or their wives. There are ways to ensure that they are fine while they pee without persecuting someone who has no intention of doing anything harmful. For one thing, if these laws become the norm, you can go in with them. 

If they want you to, that is. 

For the record, anyone worried about me? I appreciate it, but I'm going in alone. As hard as it is for me, it's easier with strangers behind closed doors than with someone I know outside my door and possibly hearing me pee. 

Ugh! 

I know, it's a wonder I lived through public school and road trips and work and motherhood... Hard running water and loud singing... 

I have a feeling I'm going to get slammed for this, but I just can't get worked up about this issue. I don't think it should be an issue. The only thing I know is that everybody poops, and nobody wants anybody else to know they poop, but we all have a right to poop without anyone else making a big deal about it. I don't want to get into a fight with anyone on my way to the bathroom, or witness anyone else having to fight their way into a bathroom when all they want to do is pee and go on with their day. 

I foresee the day when all public restrooms will be labeled "Public restroom". (Original, huh?)Toilets and urinals will be in stalls with doors, ensuring privacy for everyone. No one will be trying to peep at anyone else, because moms and dads will be in there, husbands and wives will be in there. It could actually make the public bathroom a safer place. 

(I'm gonna hear about it for that one. Yikes!)

How about we tackle pollution, global warming and deforestation instead? Those are real issues. Get out of the toilet, folks, and make a difference in something that matters. 

Now that I've gone out on a limb and stated an opinion that's likely to get me clobbered, bring on the hate! 

Until next time! 

(If no one kills me...)

May 9, 2016
10:30 p.m.

Today was my grandson Byron's 9th birthday. His response to my suggestion that he is now 112? "You're outta your mind, Grandma!"

Happy Birthday, By-Guy! I love you so much, grandchild of mine!

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This is going to be a short post. I don't know if it's the weather, or what, but nothing wants to save today!

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May 10, 2016

Due to craziness on this website, I am posting this today.

May 6, 2016
9:00 p.m.

Tomorrow will be a day filled with sorrow and joy as family members celebrate the life of my young second cousin, Russel (Rusty) Shablo.

As many of my readers know, Rusty battled cancer for quite awhile. He was supported by his family and many in the community. He faced it all with a smile that just would not fade.

I could never, ever say enough about the outpouring of love and support the family has received in the wake of this loss. You have all been so wonderful.

I have attached a link to Rusty's obituary here:

http://obituaries.durangoherald.com/obituaries/durangoherald/obituary.aspx?n=russel-anthony-shablo-rusty&pid=179855423&fhid=8561

If you would like to leave a message for the family or help in any way, you can do it here.

Again, I thank you all for your kindness, your well-wishes and your love.

Our loss is Heaven's gain, and we rejoice in knowing that we will be reunited in the future.

For now, goodnight.

Fly high, Rusty.

May 5, 2016
4:53 p.m.

So, today is Cinco de Mayo. I wish that meant I'm going to eat some fantastic Mexican food for dinner, but frankly, I'm not that brave. But it does mean that I want to wish everyone celebrating a Feliz Cinco de Mayo, and say "Be safe!
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Yesterday was my birthday. Another year older. Wow, that went fast!

 Here I am, on my birthday, celebrating with lunch at The Outback, where I actually did try some Aussie beef tacos. Yum. My son and daughter-in-law gifted me with a trip to Barnes and Noble--books!! Yay!--and lunch out, then surprised me with this beautiful charm bracelet.

 Hot brownie topped with ice cream, which I also dared a few bites of. So delicious!

They went to Jared's. Is this not lovely? My birthstone, an emerald.

After lunch we all got a haircut, so now we are cute.

To top it all off, the sun was shining all day!

After grocery shopping we came home and then I spent the rest of the evening on the phone. I also spent a good deal of time thanking well-wishers on Facebook. What a great birthday! I am blessed!
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6:11 p.m.

I called my doctor's office today and was told that my CT scan results are there, but not yet reviewed by my doctor, so hopefully I will hear from them tomorrow and they will tell me I don't have to do it again. Cross your fingers, everyone!
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7:42 p.m.

Just scrolled through my Facebook feed, and I feel the need--once again--to say, "I hate election years! I hate politicians! We are doomed, doomed, I say!"

Just what in the heck has happened to the America I grew up in? It makes me so sad! And I have nine grandchildren--NINE!--who have to grow up and live in the world we're creating. Not the legacy I would have hoped for, that's for sure.

Boo, citizens. Boo, Earthlings. We must do better.

Might I suggest: Alice Cooper! He wants to be Elected.

Probably the best choice we could make!!

Okay, I think I'm done for today!

Cheers!

May 3, 2016
10:21 p.m.

I've had a bit of a chuckle today, thinking about yesterday.

I've decided that I just naturally mess with medical equipment. That has to be the reason for all these crazy things that lead to repeat tests on me.

To avoid having to repeat this exam, I stopped eating solid food the day before, instead of only eight hours before. Applesauce and jello, hurrah! Lots and lots of water.

I learned my lesson in January when I had an Esophagogastroduodonoscopy (EGD). I was told to fast for eight hours prior to the test. I fasted for twelve hours just to be sure.

The test was cut short because my stomach was still full--after twelve hours!

Obviously, that's a problem.

I rescheduled the EGD and was told to have clear liquids only for three days before the test. That test went fine, but ultimately didn't get me a definitive diagnosis.

This led to the next phase. CT scan of abdomen and pelvis with contrast.

Yesterday I boarded a bus at 7:45 a.m. to go to an appointment for the CT scan. The scan was scheduled for 11:30, but I had to be there early to drink a tasty concoction called barium. So, two buses and a half mile walk, and I made it there in plenty of time. I checked in, filled out paperwork, presented everything to the receptionist and tried to pay my co-pay.

Nope. Machine is out of order. No one has the old fashioned hand-held imprinter anymore, so I filled out a promissory note and was presented with my first serving of flavored barium contrast--nice and cold, and with a straw.

Actually, it wasn't that bad. I guess the flavoring has been greatly improved from the last time I had to drink that stuff.

Like a good girl, I travel with a book--always and without fail. These days, it's a Kindle in my bag--all the books you could possibly want for a day out, and no fear of finishing and having nothing else to read. I read on the bus, and while I waited I read some more.

After an hour, I got a second glass of yummy barium. An hour after that, I was called back for the scan.

I changed into scrubs--yay, no backless gown--and then the tech took me back to get situated.

Now, this guy is a mensch, let me tell you. He took the time to explain all about the test, and the need to also add more contrast in the form of an iodine injection, so of course, I would need an IV.

Whoopee. I have the worst veins. But, miracle of miracles, he finds a vein--in my arm, no less--and starts the IV in one try!! I usually end up with IVs in the back of my hand. And today--not a single sign of a bruise. Awesome.

Into the machine I go. Test one. Test two. Inject with iodine--

Oh! Have you ever had contrast before a CT scan or MRI? It is a most unpleasant experience. It doesn't hurt, but...

Okay, first, you feel a rush of heat, starting in the ears. Then, as the heat spreads downward, your mouth fills up with a very bitter, metallic taste, making you want to spit. As the heat hits your lower belly, there's a sensation of--sorry, it's true--wetting yourself.

Now, I've had this done before, last summer. The Tech reminded me before this new test done, but this sensation is so...what, real?...yeah, I guess real--that you're filled with shame. Oh my God, you think, I've wet myself!

In the meantime, the machine has moved me further inside itself, and as the sensation fades, it orders me to breath in...hold my breath...and breathe...but all in a matter of seconds, and without sliding me slowly out of the machine the way it should. It repeats itself, still without moving.

Oh, crap, I think. Now what?

The Tech returns and apologizes profusely. Power outage. Must have caused a glitch. We'll have to try again.

Oh, man. So, another injection, another rush of sensation and shame, an intense desire to spit and run, and what happens?

That's right! The machine fails again! Aughh!

Well, there's no way I can receive a third injection of contrast; kidney function is more important than pretty pictures. So the tech removed the IV and restarted the machine and ran the test without contrast.

The test that was specifically ordered with contrast.

But what else could he do? Endanger my kidneys? Of course not!

I got dressed and the Tech walked me out, changed my co-pay amount with the receptionist and apologized yet again for all the trouble that was not his, or anyone's fault, and left me filling out another promissory note for a smaller charge.

So all I can do now is hope that there was enough residual contrast still there when the pictures were taken. I really don't want to have to do this again.

My brilliant plan for the day was to leave the test on time--which didn't work out--catch another bus and go downtown to buy a book. Instead, by the time I got to the bus stop, my stomach was very upset, and I ended up just coming home and ultimately taking a nap in self defense.

That's right--me! Sleeping in the middle of the day! And I actually did sleep!

Unbelievable.

But that was yesterday.

Today, all's good. I'm not going to worry about the test until I have to. I ate Cream of Wheat and applesauce and then I cheated tonight and ate one-third of a hamburger and a few french fries and drank the most awesome hand mixed cream soda. I'm not dying, so I think I've gotten away with it.

On that happy note, I bid you good-night!