August 6, 2016
11:46 a.m.


I was washing my hair, and while rinsing soap out of my face I opened my eyes and saw a gigantic spider.

How do I know it was gigantic? Because I could see it. I can't see worth a hill of beans without my glasses, and I don't shower with glasses on. But I clearly saw that spider.

I am not a screamer. Honestly. I am a gasper in most cases, and my "screams" are generally a loudly exhaled "OH!"

I screamed. My son and the doggies came running. They found me grasping a towel and dripping in the middle of the bathroom. I had jumped out, yanked the shower curtain closed and grabbed a towel in a matter of seconds.

"Jesus Christ, Mom!" my son yelled. "You scared the crap out of me! What happened?"

"Sp--sp--spider," I gasped, pointing at the shower. "BIG spider."

"It was probably just hair," he groaned.

"It was a spider. HUGE spider. I saw it!"

"How? You can't even see me right now." He handed me my glasses and I put them on. "How could you tell it was a spider?"

I wrapped the towel more firmly around me. "It was a spider," I insisted.

"Guess I'll kill it, then," he said, and reached for the shower curtain. He pulled it open, and...

and...

And who the heck knows?

I woke up.

I hate nightmares.

So...do I hope that he pulled the curtain open and found a humongous spider that totally justified my scream reaction?

Or do I hope he was right and it was just a clump of hair--or my own overactive imagination? (Nah, I'd never hear the end of it!)

I don't know. All I know is that while in the shower this morning I experienced a nightmare flashback and had an asthma attack that got my son on his feet and running to the bathroom to check on me.

Good grief!

I'm fine, by the way.

In the aftermath, it occurs to me that this is the first time I remember having a dream in which I could not see without my glasses. What's up with that?

I dream a lot. I can always see perfectly fine in my dreams. Does that mean I'm wearing my glasses in my dreams?

That can't be right. I mean, I sometimes dream that I wake up in the middle of the night needing to pee, and I get up and go to the bathroom. I don't put on glasses, and I can see just fine. Around the time buttocks meet porcelain, I really wake up and rush to the bathroom--but I grab my glasses first. You know, so I can see in the dark!

Does anyone else ever have this stupid dream, or is it just me?

Does anyone else put on their glasses, even though they're not going to turn on the lights?

It might be time for me to go do something else for awhile.

Guess I'll walk the dogs. Ta ta!