Monday, March 25, 2019
1:16 p.m.

You can't get into Heaven with someone else's dog.

Yep. Lessons learned from dreams. So weird.

I crawled back into my bed this morning after taking the dog out. I was cold. I didn't want to be up yet; I just wanted to lie in bed, toasty warm.

About the time I decided to get up, because I was never going to fall asleep, I...fell asleep!

And, holy cow, such a weird dream ensued.

Molly and I came upstairs and found a big black dog with a white star on his forehead sitting in the kitchen. Never saw him before in my life. But-- "Hi, Scout," I said. "How'd the surgery go?"

He was on a leash, but there were no bandages or anything, so... I don't know. He wasn't able to follow us to the living room, though, and that's where we went next.

Mom and Dad were sitting in their chairs, watching television. I sat down, and a black dachshund jumped up into my lap and squirmed her way next to Molly. I started petting her like this was nothing unusual, although, like the dog in the kitchen, I'd never seen her before.

She was soon joined by two more dogs, a black and white border Collie and a brown something or other with a tail that spun like a propeller with his joy. Within seconds, Scout joined us all, dragging his leash.

None of us seemed at all surprised with this abundance of dogs in the house.

None of us were surprised when my son appeared at the door, ready to take me somewhere, along with all six dogs. Mom and Dad greeted Sam much as if they saw him every day, rather than once every year or so, and waved us all out the door.

At the curb: one hellacious motor home. That thing was gigantic! We loaded the dogs and I took the passenger seat, a comfy captain's seat that swiveled 360 degrees. Wow!

I turned, expecting to see my daughter-in-law, but instead, there was an old classmate of mine, Tina, and several more dogs.

Wherever we were off to, it had something to do with all the dogs. We drove down the street, turned onto Cedar, and...

… now, we were on crowded city streets. People walking to and fro, lots of traffic. I looked to my left as the motor home took a lurching left-turn at a traffic light, and--my daughter was behind the wheel!

What the hell?

""Oh, crap!" she cried, as she straightened the vehicle. "There's a cop behind me! I hope he didn't follow me all the way from Grandpa's!"

"Where are we?" I demanded. Molly was clinging to me like a little monkey.

Suddenly, a little black Chihuahua darted out in front of us, dragging a thick red leash. Sarah slammed on the brakes and swerved, just missing her. "Was that Molly?" she shrieked.

"Molly's right here," I said, trying to pry the dog off my neck. "Pull over!"

She parked the vehicle and I leaped out the door to catch the little dog before she could be hit by a car. Molly jumped out of my arms. "Molly!" I yelled. "Get back here! Are you crazy?"

Wonder of wonders, she came right to me, and let me pick her up. The other chihuahua followed and also allowed me to pick her up.

I stood up and looked around, hoping to see someone looking for this little girl. People were hustling through the street in  all directions, but no one seemed to be searching for a missing pup.

I turned and noticed a tall building with a crookedly hung wooden door. A sign over the door read: "Enter here". I turned back to look into the open door of the motor home to tell my daughter I was going to go in and see if anyone recognized the dog.

My son was in the driver's seat.

Ohhhh...kaaaay.

Tina appeared in the doorway. "Are you going in?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied. "Maybe someone knows who this little girl belongs to."

Tina looked over my shoulder at the door. "Uh... all righty, then." She looked at Sam. He looked back at her, eyes wide, and shrugged.

I shook my head. " Don't be scared," I said. "These big bad dogs will protect me."

I opened the door and stepped inside. The door clapped shut behind me. Molly squirmed and whined, but the other dog was perfectly calm.

I was in a narrow passageway, with a long line of people waiting to climb a rickety staircase with half-sized risers. A few people were coming down, but the majority were waiting to make the climb.

I stood on tiptoes, looking up, up, up. I couldn't see the top. I also couldn't turn around, as there were now people behind me in this cramped line.

We climbed. Molly tried her best to greet everyone, wagging her tail and stretching out her neck for a pat whenever possible. The few people headed down nodded solemnly, pet the dog and went on without speaking.

The steps were scarily narrow, and I tried to watch my feet while holding a dog in each arm. Not easy.

Finally, we reached the top, and I was overwhelmed to see a path, slightly inclined, with logs half buried in rich, dark soil every few feet. Trees lined either side, and people began the final hike upward.

"Molly," I whispered to the beloved little black dog, "this is where that photo was taken."

Molly stared up into my face, just as if she was asking me what photo I was talking about.

"You know," I told her. "The photo we were supposed to write the March story about."

The dog sighed.

I didn't blame her.

The other dog looked straight ahead at the path, and we started the last part of our climb. My mind was racing, trying to make sense of things.

At the end of the path, there was another door. It wasn't crooked or shabby like the first door, but it was obviously old. One by one, people entered. Once in a while, a person would come back out and start walking back.

At last, it was my turn. I went inside, and there, I met God.

Don't ask me what he looked like. I have no idea.

Don't ask me how I knew it was God. It was God. I knew it, that's all.

"What are you doing here?" God asked.

"I found this--" I began, lifting the lost dog toward him.

"That's not your dog," God said.

"I know!" I agreed. "She--"

"You have to take her back," God said. "You have to return her to her owner."

"Yes, but--"

"You're not supposed to be here," God continued. "It's not your time. Run along, now."

I'm thinking fast during this exchange: What if it really was my time? Molly is so young! She should go back to Mom and Dad.

"It's not Molly's time, either," God said, and I thought: He heard me!

"That's good," I said, "because--"

"When it's her time, she'll come. You, too. But today is not your time, so, off you go, now!" And He took me by the shoulders, turned me around, and pushed me gently back out the door.

Now I'm going down, down, down, and wondering if all the others who were taking that same walk were being sent back to life, or if they were being sent further down.

I decided I didn't want to know that.

Molly was trying to kiss everyone we passed, and most everyone gave her smiles and pats while avoiding looking directly at me.

Maybe they were wondering the same thing I was about that downward trek.

Finally, someone spoke to me: "The steps are scary." It was a nice-looking gentleman with a head full of thick, white hair. "Be careful."

"Thank you," I replied. "It's slow going with my hands full--can't use the hand rail."

"What hand rail?"

He was right--no rail.

I picked my way down carefully, my size six feet feeling enormous on the narrow steps.

I was almost at the bottom when I saw another old schoolmate about to start the upward climb. She was wearing a lime green visor cap and looked much younger than her fifty-something years. She passed me, saying, "Excuse me, ma'am."

I turned to watch her climb the steps and called her name, then said, "It's me! Paula!"

"I thought so," she replied. "I didn't want to say anything. Your kids are getting a ticket."

I was at the door. "What? Why?" I cried, but she was gone.

I went back out into the street. Molly leapt out of my arms and started trotting down the road toward the motor home, which had been moved.

I chased her, the foundling dog bouncing serenely against my breast, watching Molly. "You come here, right now!" I admonished the little stinker. "Are you nuts, Molly? Look at all this traffic!"

Molly sat down next to the motor home and looked up at me. The passenger door swung open. Sam looked relieved as Molly and I climbed in.

"You got a ticket?" I gasped. "Why?"

"Parked in front of a fire hydrant," Sam replied.

I sighed. "How much?"

"Nothing." Now my son grinned at me. "We told the cop about the dog in the road, and when he saw you come out that door with the dogs, he gave me a warning instead of a ticket."

"Thank God!" Tina said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "You can say that again."

"What about her? Did anyone know who she belongs to?"

"God knows," I said. "But He didn't tell me."

"Huh?"

And… I woke up!

Now I don't know if I got the dog back to her owner, or who the owner is, or where we were taking all those dogs, or what town we were in...

Or anything else, for that matter!

But I do know you can't get into Heaven with someone else's dog.

So there's that.
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Dreams are weird. Have I told you that before?

I'll probably tell you again, sometime.

Until we meet again!