January 10, 2021

2:40 p.m.

I live with chronic pain. Most days, I am able to shove it into the background and get on with my day with only occasional moans, groans and gripes.

Then there are days like today. Days when every breath hurts my whole torso; days when my joints aren't happy being still or being in motion; days when even my skin hurts and my clothing feels like a torture devise. 

On days like this I wish I could just lie naked on my bed, covered in the softest, lightest blanket I can find and not move. 

That's what I wish for, but I don't have time for that. There are things that have to be done. 

So, here I am, at the keyboard, bitching about it.

Let me just add this--I am grateful that extreme days don't happen that often. Yes, I am completely miserable, but it will pass and I won't be so inclined to gripe about the usual chronic pain I have daily. This is a forceful reminder of how lucky I am that it's not like this every day. 

I think my biggest mistake today was eating. I should know better. Days like this, food hurts, too. But I cooked for Mom and had a bit myself. And here we are.

Ugh. Ow. 

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 Hey, there are upsides. Another story in the can. Another Drabble win. The dog still loves me. And the sun is shining. 

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I'm thinking about getting one of those hair-cutting deals and doing an at-home do-it-yourself haircut. I butchered my bangs recently--how much worse could it get? Ha ha!

Once it's cut, I may color it pink and purple. Go all the way with it, that's what I say. What else have I got to do? 

I admit it--I am bored. I don't care for this lockdown crap any more than anyone else. And it amuses me to discover this. I am such a homebody, really. I don't go out often. I'm generally content to stay home and do my own thing. 

I think it's just the IDEA, you know? This sudden embrace of and encouragement for staying home makes me want to do the opposite. I don't like the fact that everyone else is doing MY THING. 

It's not funny. But it is funny. 

Seriously, I want to go to dinner and a movie with a friend. I want to go to a casino and drink tea while losing my pennies to the one-armed bandits. I want to sit in Barnes and Nobel with a cup of coffee and a book. 

I really wanted to go to Comic Book Conventions last year with my grandchildren, and I wanted Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

I mean it, man. I don't go out and do much. But the few things I do, I miss. 

I am the kid known as whimper and whine. Ha ha. Do you remember that song from the PBS show The Electric Company? 1970s. Look it up, it's probably on YouTube somewhere. I'm not going to look for you today. I am in pain. Sorry. 

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4:23 p.m.

My thoughts are all Gloomy-Gus today.

Luckily, I published a couple of stories on my other blog, so I don't feel useless. 

Now, I am going to go make something for Mom to eat. No food for me. 

Better day tomorrow. I just know it!

Good day. 

I said good day.