Friday, October 21, 2016

October 21, 2016
8:12 p.m.

Have you ever noticed that the people who give up the most, who go out of their way to help, and who always answer the call for help are the ones who get dumped on the most?

WHY??

Disclaimer: You might think this woman is you. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. You might think this woman is your mother. Again, maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. If it is--shame on you!

I know this woman who has gone out of her way on multiple occasions to help her kids through numerous problems. She has given them money, made road trips to get them, let them stay with her, let their families stay with her, fed them, bought them clothes, paid their bills and fines and storage fees, cleaned up after them...

The list goes on and on.

They treat her like crap. Whatever goes wrong in their lives, they find a way to blame it on her. Then they don't answer calls or return them to hurt her--until they need something else! Then it's "Hi, Mom, I just wanted to call you."

If I was her, my first question would be, "Now what?"

But she's just so happy to hear from them, you know?

A while back she took in her "grandchild" for a while, because the child's mother was very ill and unable to care for her, and her son--who is not the biological father, but still the only father the child knows--wasn't working and was in trouble with the law and also unable to care for the child.

This woman loves the child very much, took great care of her, got her in school, took care of medical appointments that had been neglected, etc. Then the mother's family just decided it was time to pitch in, and they came and got her. There was nothing this woman could do--no biological claim, and her son wasn't ever married to the child's mother, so he had no claim either.

Now the son is with another woman, and they have a one-year-old child. They are both involved with drugs and in trouble with the law. They are not married, but he is the biological father of this child. Well, probably.

The other grandmother is in poor health and unable to care for the baby. Her sister came to the house, kicked out this woman's son, and called this woman and told her that Department of Family Services was going to be called to pick up the baby unless she could take her. Like, right now.

Of course, this woman said yes, and the baby was delivered to her while her son and the baby's mother were busy hiding out from the law!

So NOW, they are accusing her of "stealing" their baby and threatening her.

Bear in mind, they are both wanted by the law for something--things they could resolve if they'd go talk to the law about the issues. They have no jobs, no money, no car. They both have issues with drugs.

But according to the son, everything is this woman's fault! She forced him to take drugs, miss appointments with his probation officer and lose every job he's had. Yeah, right. She did that. She's responsible for his bad behavior.

Did I mention he's over thirty?

According the the baby's mother, her mother is to blame for everything she's done.

Wow! The power of Moms. Amazing, huh? How is it that other members of the families hold good jobs, pay their own bills--on time!--and have no outstanding warrants or missed probation appointments? Same mothers...

A plot must be afoot, eh?

Where did this mindset come from?

It's true, there are no perfect parents, but...

Holy crap, what a bunch of entitled, lazy, good-for-nothing adults our generation managed to enable. Yes, there are a lot of great people out there who were born and raised in the 1980's, but seriously, that generation has produced a lot of "the world owes me a living" young adults who don't take responsibility for anything. And they're in their thirties now, so it's more than high time to quit blaming the parents and take care of themselves.

This woman isn't perfect; she's had her own issues to get through. No one is perfect! We've all fallen short in our lives. But I have never heard her blaming her parents for her shortcomings; she's big enough to admit it when she goofs.

Not those kids! No accountability. Everything is blamed on someone else.

Suppose she'd just said no? That baby would be in the system right now, and the way they are living their lives, they would never, ever get their child back. Ward of the court, foster care, supervised visitation--if they got lucky--and then...what? Because in order to even have a chance to get the baby back they would have to turn themselves in, face the music on the law cases they're hiding from and avoiding, deal with the consequences of their actions and then maybe, just maybe, they'd get to set up visits and such.

Instead they say she "stole" their baby, and get the other people involved. The mother who was so ill everyone expected her to die? She asked if the situation felt familiar, suggesting that her child had also been "stolen", and said that this woman would now not get to see that child any more.

She had that child in her home for months, fed and clothed her and got no help at all from her son or the child's mother. She has asked for no help with this baby; why would she? She certainly knows better than to expect it.

Honestly, I think her son just expected her to invite him to stay with her so he could hide from the law. I think she's smart not to offer. He needs to take care of himself. He's over thirty years old; his mommy is under no further obligation to take care of him. He's lucky she's willing to take in his baby, and care for the child--the child would be lost to him otherwise, and it would be his own fault.

On top of it all, if they try to do anything to her, they will still lose the child, because--duh!!--they would have to go to the law, and then--double duh!!--the law will have them right where they want them. (And pretty much right where they need to be, because--triple duh!--they need to get their crap together!)

Stupid much, people?

Poor woman. Punished for being too nice. No help and no thanks.

Still...isn't it best to be nice, anyway? Loving our grandchildren and helping when needed should be a good thing. It shouldn't obligate us to take care of their adult screw-up parents, however.

If you're over thirty--get your shit together and take care of what needs to be taken care of. Quit blaming others for your problems--no one made you do it, you did it yourselves! You are responsible for your own lives, your own mistakes and paying for them. So take care of it. GROW UP!!

Good grief.

I just hate to see people trying to do good things and getting poked in the eye for it. Ungrateful brats.

And that's what I think.

End rant.

Good night.



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