May 13, 2017
11:52 p.m.

Sometimes the best things for us are the hardest things to do. Most times, really.

It's so not fair, but we all know it's true.

Yesterday I jumped on the bus and went to get my mammogram. It's been awhile, and the time had come, so I took the advise of my doctor and went and got it taken care of.

While I was at it, I walked. A lot. UPHILL. Oh my God, I am so out of shape after the long winter. Yeah, I made it, but I sure was out of breath when I got to the top of that hill. It looked easy on the map when I charted my bus trip and the twenty minute walk from the bus stop to the clinic. Yeah, those little maps don't tell you about hills. Whew!

Yesterday I actually managed to do two things that really are best for me--an mammogram and exercise. Today my knee is stiff and swollen and my heel is pretty sore, too, but they'll both get over it. I'd be fine if I hadn't been so lax this past winter.

I did it, but it was hard. I don't love exercise, and I sure don't enjoy having my girls smashed. I did it because it could potentially keep me alive a little longer.

The next hard thing I need to do is sit down and map out an eating plan that I probably won't love, that will surely be hard, but in the long run might make my life a little more livable. Because what I've been doing is absolutely not working.

Why are the best things hard to do?

The very best thing I ever did was become a mother. I was lucky; for me becoming pregnant wasn't ever hard. Some women really have to work at the process to get it started, but I was fortunate. I suffered some morning sickness. I labored and delivered on four different occasions and didn't have to deal with drugs or epidurals.

While that whole process can be difficult for many, the hard part of motherhood for me was dealing with teenagers and willful young adults. At a certain point our children decided that Mom is dumb and outdated and cannot possibly understand what they're going through. Sometimes they get over it; especially when they become parents themselves. But sometimes they don't. Sometimes no matter how you try to help, to advise, to listen and be there, things don't go perfectly or they just don't listen.

That's hard. You want the very best for your children. And sometimes, try as you might, you can't give it to them.

I think the hardest words for me to hear from my children, one after the other, was "I can do it myself."

Harder still was admitting to myself that, as a general rule, they really could.

During the times when our children really can't do it all themselves, it's hard to stand back and let them try. Even when we know that it might be best, it's a built-in imperative to want to "fix it" for them.

My kids are in their thirties now, with kids of their own, and I still am the Mom who wants to be able o "fix it". Being a Mom is a tough job. But it's still the best thing I have ever done.
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May 14, 2017
12:38 a.m.

Since I just brought it up in the context of hard things, it's really easy for me to go on now and wish all the Moms out there a Very Happy Mother's Day!

I have been extremely blessed to have the BEST Mother. She raised five children who all love her with all our hearts. She's smart and tough and has a huge heart. She doesn't suffer fools gladly, stands up for herself and her loved ones and knows the value of a good sense of humor.

My daughters all have become mothers, too, and each of them now deal daily with a teenaged girl. Ah, the last laugh is mine.

Not really.

I have had the good fortune to watch a few other girls in my life grow into wonderful mothers--my sisters. friends of my daughters, my friends and their daughters. It's been an amazing journey, that quick trip from girlhood, to motherhood and then to grandmotherhood.

By the way--being a grandmother is kind of the best of the best. You don't have to be the bad guy so much, What a relief!
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It's Mother's Day. It's Sunday. Also, in a few hours we will be doing cake and ice cream for that ten-year-old grandson of mine who had his birthday in the middle of the week.

I guess I should be thinking of bed right about now. I have two grandsons sleeping in front of the t.v. right now. Their sisters are at my daughter's house for the night. The baby is probably still keeping her mom awake in the back bedroom. (I think she's related to me--that kid never wants to go to sleep!)

Instead, here I am typing away and listening to some classic Stevie Nicks, just because.

Oh, I sense some surprise out there. I don't ONLY listen to Alice Cooper, you know!

Honest!
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I am going to call it a night now, though. I'm going to read. And maybe sleep.

Good night!