May 9, 2017
5:44 p.m.


Today my number two grandson is ten years old! Wow! Someone else is another year older. He's a cutie, that guy.

I've been lucky to be able to spend more time with him this past year, since the family moved to Colorado.

Happy Birthday, Byron!!

Yep. I just did my own birthday a few days ago. I think it's easier for kids. It's all cake and ice cream and presents, and getting older is exciting.

Not so much for grownups, though, huh?

Birthdays, man. Once a year you get that reminder that time stops for no man. You make your appointment for the annual physical so the doctor can collect the co-pay and tell you that you're still here, you still have asthma and arthritis and gastrointestinal disorders and you're still fat. You renew the prescriptions--and maybe add a couple more, who knows? You get the lecture about diet and exercise. You get scolded for not having your mammogram done yet.

Then you go out to lunch, because doggone it, it's your freakin' birthday and you deserve a cheeseburger. And maybe fries. So there.

You walk home, and get lucky--the rain starts after you get to the house!

And then your lunch makes you sick, because you really, really shouldn't try to eat people food. You should eat jello. You're old. You have gastrointestinal issues. Dummy!

And now I'm sitting here with a belly ache, going over the prescription refills and looking over the actual cost, my cost and the amount my insurance saves me, and all I can think is: Oh, my God! What will I do if I lose my insurance? 

I took out a calculator and figured out my annual costs out-of-pocket on these prescriptions--just these and not the other two I will have refilled in a couple of weeks. The cost to me would be over half of what I make in a year. Anyone who has ever doubted me when I said I would end up living in a refrigerator crate without coverage--you can suck it. The proof is right there on my receipts. I'll be interested to see the grand total once I refill the other two prescriptions.

Did I say interested? I meant terrified.

And I thought I was in a little funk when the GOP pushed through their repeal and replace bill on my dang birthday! Now I really feel blue. And a little more sick to my stomach than I did before I really read through my receipts.

Seriously--is this for real? Why the hell is my medication retail-priced so blasted high? I am not kidding, they are ridiculously high! Oh, yeah, I remember now. Big Pharma. If this mess actually happens I will have to choose between housing and food or the medication that keeps me from being miserable or possibly dead. I certainly won't be able to have it all.

And those costs don't even include my premiums, medical office visits, diagnostic tests or possible hospitalizations or ER visits. Just medications. Just remaining on the plan I have now challenges my budget. I eat poorly. My house needs repairs I can't afford. I no longer own a car.

But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I am really grateful to be insured. I work my budget around my premium payments and my co-pays and I thank God that I finally was able to qualify for a plan at all, because I spent years uninsured or under-insured due to pre-existing conditions.

The possibility that it could all be taken away makes me ill. It scares me to death.

And it's not okay. I shouldn't have to be in a position where I have to decide between medical care or a place to live. No one should be put in a position like that!

Now, I certainly can't speak for everyone, and I'm not trying to. I'm well aware of those who have had their own premiums skyrocket under Obamacare, because they have been VERY persistent about reminding me over and over. I get it. I sympathize. It's not like I want anyone to have to pay huge premiums. But I promise, if I was convinced that this administration had a plan that would help us all, I would be behind it all the way.

They don't. So forget it--I'm fighting it all the way.

Why? Because, you know that grandson I mentioned earlier? The one who just turned ten? Well, he's just one of my nine grandchildren. I want to celebrate ALL their birthdays. I want to see them ALL graduate. I want to see them fall in love and have kids of their own. I want to see them choose careers and watch them perform in school programs and take them out to ComiCon. All of them. Even the one who is only one year old now. That means I need to stay alive for awhile. And I don't think that's asking too much.

I also don't think a bunch of rich men looking to line their pockets and those of big corporations and Big Pharma have the right to make that decision for me. Or for anyone.

So now, I have to pay attention to politics and make phone calls and write letters and generally become one of those boring old people who argue about policy-making and political parties and the benefits of actually going to the polls and casting a vote.

Ugh.

Why are kids so excited about growing up, anyway? See where it gets you? Yuck!

Dear Byron, I'm glad you're able to enjoy your special day without having any grown-up worries, and I hope time doesn't pass so quickly that you don't get to relish every day of being a kid. I love you so much, kiddo! Have fun and be a kid as long as possible.

But don't drop your candy wrappers on the floor. You're too old for that already!

I'm ready to get back to editing my book, so I will say goodnight for now!

Sleep tight!