Zombies vs Cheetos

December 26, 2017
12:01 a.m.

I have a particular holiday tradition that my family tolerates, rather than enjoys with me. I love the movie "A Christmas Story", and I like to watch it on Christmas Day while preparing the meal.

I didn't get to watch it. I started it, but then the room filled with people demanding to watch something else.

I tried to watch again this afternoon, and...NOPE.

So I'm trying again, but the kids are so noisy--yes, I know, it's past bedtime--I can't hear it!!

I WILL watch my movie, I WILL watch my movie, I WILL, I WILL, I WILL.

Hahaha! Maybe some time in June...
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December 27, 2017
12:01 a.m.

I started talking about fear a while back, and for some reason got sidetracked and didn't continue. In light of the past eleven months' worth of country-wide hate and stupidity, I'm ready to go on to:

Fear Part Five

2017 has been a hellacious year.

Yes, on a personal level, many good things have happened. My son got married. I took grandchildren to Comic-Con. I attended two family reunions. All of my children are here for Christmas. Family members with health problems are doing better.

But this past year has been a disaster area for the good old USA.

Before we start a political party debate, let me be clear-- this isn't about parties. This is about people.

I never knew until this year how many hateful people there really are out there. A perfectly innocuous remark--say, "Merry Christmas"--can lead to some of the most vile remarks from random people that I have ever seen in my life.

If you don't find this scary, I envy you. The amount of hate being spewed by Americans at other Americans has led me to fear for the future of this country.

I'll tell you why.

Enemies of this country are more than happy to use our disagreements and debates against us. It gives them a lot less work to do in dividing our country against itself.

Random and senseless attacks are increasing month by month. School shootings, homicide by vehicle, you name it, we've seen far too much of it already, and I fear it will just get worse.

Seeds of distrust are being rapidly sewn throughout every possible arena--the workplace, the media, the film and television industry, and certainly the political arena.

When I was a kid, we swore never to trust anyone over thirty. Today, we should probably swear to trust no one at all.

I fear that in this present atmosphere, we are in serious danger of getting involved in war.

Then what? I barely scrape by paycheck to paycheck. I can't afford a bomb shelter. I can't afford to steal my family away to a remote location and live off the grid--which I would dearly love to be able to to, because--yeah, can't trust anyone anymore.

It's a sad, sad thing to realize that your biggest fear might be that the people in charge of your own country are the ones who are most likely to harm you, and the ones most likely to destroy the futures of your younger family members.

It's a sickening fear, and one I find harder and harder to shake.

I am generally a glass-half-full gal, but when discussing fear, you have to hit on those things that steal through your mind when you can't get to sleep at night.

I keep envisioning scenarios designed to protect my children and grandchildren when all hell breaks loose. How to build and stock an underground bunker. What books to hoard for the future education of the children. How to grow vegetables in less-than-ideal conditions. How to avoid radiation poisoning.

Believe me, I'd rather be planning a family trip to Disneyland. The above random thoughts don't do much to induce restful sleep.

And no, I did not just watch some apocalyptic feature film.

Nowhere in my youthful imaginings did I ever envision the end of the USA I know and love, and certainly never due to stupidity, but it now seems to be a valid fear.

Disheartening, isn't it?

In spite of all, I allow myself to hope. 2018 is coming very soon. Things can get better...

Right?
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On a bit of a sillier note--what do you think? Would radiation exposure have anything to do with zombie evolution?

I don't want to become a zombie. I can't think of eating brains without feeling queasy. I don't want meat less than medium-well done, either, so....

Don't want to be a zombie, folks.

I also don't want to have to kill someone I love after they've become a zombie.

Oh, damn. In none of my off-the-grid life-in-a-bunker plans do I have a huge arsenal of weapons. Just vegetable seeds and books and canned goods. Fuel of some sort. Gardening tools.

I'm going to have to re-think the whole thing if there's going to be zombies.

Shoot.

I mean...

Yeah.

Well, whatever. With the present Senate and House--not to mention the Cheeto-in-Chief-- why would I be afraid of zombies? I've got enough to worry about.

(Why do I keep disparaging Cheetos? I LIKE Cheetos!)
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Can I vent a bit about weapons? Please?

I have grandsons. I love them so much.

I hate their toys. Guns, swords, knives. Sooner or later, someone gets it with one or the other. As if they don't take every opportunity to push, poke and hit already! Not to mention the yelling and screaming and running. In the house!

No, no, and NO.

I never allowed those things in my house when my kids were growing up. After witnessing the chaos around here the past couple of days, I know I was absolutely right to ban them. I have confiscated them several times. I'm on the verge of hauling the lot right out to the dumpster.

And okay, that might be drastic, but at the very LEAST, they should only be outdoor toys. I'm too old to be subjected to that melee.

So I have three out of four grandsons who are from Oklahoma and wimps in the cold. Jeez! I can't even throw them outside. They whine if it's under 55 degrees.

They'd die in five minutes in Wyoming!

One more weapons attack, and the darned things are going to be in the top of my closet until summer.
Of all the great toys out there, why? Why??

This will probably piss off my daughters. Oh, well!
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Why are we all still up?

Oh, yeah. It's vacation time.

It's so cold, and there's a puppy in training in the house. Brr. She's an Oklahoman, too, poor thing. I really hate putting animals out in the cold. Four degrees! Yikes!
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Okay, enough already. I'm turning everything off in hopes that the kiddos will fall out. They are still so excited over Christmas, and the fact that they're all together.

Good night!